


The Ticking of a Stopped Clock

by hotelcortez



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Grim Reapers, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, M/M, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, Yang Jeongin | I.N is a Sweetheart, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric, but no actual death in the story, lots of mentions of death, so technically everyone is dead, this is set in the afterlife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25518961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez
Summary: There was always the possibility that soulmates existed, Jeongin just never thought he'd find his in the afterlife.or.The story of Yang Jeongin wanting to find his purpose, becoming a grim reaper and then somehow finding love along the way.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 117
Kudos: 152





	1. Prologue: Better Late than Never

**Author's Note:**

> heeyyaa all!!
> 
> sorry for not posting in a long time. i struggled with writers block for a while and then somehow started writing a story unlike anything i've ever written lol
> 
> please enjoy!!
> 
> tw: this story is largely centred around death. this is set in the afterlife, so all characters (except one) are dead and they do talk about that. however there are no graphic details about death and no death actually takes place within the story. please always stay safe whilst reading, and always tell me if you think i should alter my tags <3

It’s no secret that people have always wondered where they go after they die.

There have always been endless theories. Some born from religion, some not.

There are tales of heaven and hell, stories of reincarnation, whispers of ceasing to exist and whole other worlds humans enjoy the idea of toying with, enjoy the idea of spending eternity once their hearts stop beating and life stops whisking by.

The images are everywhere. The crosses, the hellfire, the angels, the demons, the constant ever-changing ideas about what happens when someone’s presence on earth is taken away.

But, the truth is, the afterlife is a lot like all of those ideas.

The afterlife is flexible. Bendy. It moves to fit the person and springs into whatever shape they require.

It sits just above the Earth, floating in the clouds and looking down upon the deep blue that everyone once inhabited. Souls get to sit and watch the life they left behind, wonder about where the people they loved are and how Earth is coping without them.

Admittedly, this makes the afterlife seem like nothing more than a nice view, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

The afterlife has one goal; help everyone reach the end.

People die at different ages, people die at different points in their life, people die with and without satisfaction at what they did in life. Some people were ready for the final breath, some were not.

The afterlife seeks to make everyone ready.

Humans aren’t taken there until it’s the right time.

Most souls spend at least some time on earth once they’ve died. They wonder as ghosts, following around their family and crying at their own funeral and getting ready to say goodbye to all of it. Once they’ve reached that point, a reaper appears and takes them above the clouds and to the gates.

The gates open to what is called the ‘Sanctuary’.

The ‘Sanctuary’ is where all souls go to recover. Some souls receive traumatic deaths, have to watch their families go through hell, aren’t ready to their accept death. So, the Sanctuary is where they are nurtured and cared for, tendered until they are ready for a purpose again, watched over by other loving souls.

Perhaps, it is what humans would call ‘heaven’.

From here, some souls move on. It’s usually the older ones, the ones who lived long fulfilling lives. They simply decide they have found their purpose and they disappear forever, destined to be happy in eternity with no one to ever interrupt them.

It’s a peaceful end.

But its not the same for all souls. Some souls, particularly the young ones, get bored. They grow tired of not finding their purpose yet, of not living a full life. So, once they’ve been nurtured enough, they move on in their own way.

Some go back to being ghosts on Earth, some decide to care for the newer souls that enter the Sanctuary.

And some… some become reapers.

This is where our story begins.

Nothing more than a tender teenager when he died, young Yang Jeongin wanted nothing more than to become a reaper.

Jeongin could still remember his own journey from Earth to the Sanctuary. He could remember how peaceful the reapers had made it. It had taken many earth-cycles of thinking, but Jeongin now realised he wanted to be a reaper himself. He wanted to be the smiling face that greeted a soul when they were so alone and so scared. He wanted to be the one to help them.

It was difficult for Jeongin to hide how young he felt as he left the pearly gates of the Sanctuary, but he knew it was what he wanted to do. He wasn’t fulfilled enough to move on, but he was determined enough to do something good.

So, he followed the path of many others before him. He walked along the clouds and through the sky and towards the place he knew would give him his purpose. It was the place all the souls went when they wanted a job, the place where the one who saw everything, the one who ruled the afterlife, could help them.

Jeongin knew that if he was still on Earth, the one who was going to help him would probably be worshipped as a god.

But the afterlife wasn’t like that. The idea of gods was something souls could hold onto if it was what brought them peace, but it wasn’t necessary. The afterlife was whatever the soul wanted it to be, whatever helped them to move on.

Jeongin wasn’t sure what his afterlife was yet, but he was determined to find it.

So, this is where the journey starts, where Jeongin set out into an unfamiliar world to find something that could make him feel alive in death, something that could fulfil his purpose.

Something that could give Jeongin his happiness.

Something that could make Jeongin’s heart beat, even when it couldn’t anymore.

This is the story of where Yang Jeongin went after he died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! ik this prologue does seem a little technical but i promise it does get a lot easier from here. future chapters will also be a bit longer
> 
> i hope this is an okay start!! i've got a pretty good idea where this story is going, but you might have to bear with me a bit
> 
> i hope everyone is having a good day and staying safe <3


	2. It's High Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You really are a curious one,” Chan said, furrowing his brows playfully as he looked at Jeongin, “I would say that curiosity killed the cat, but I don’t know if that phrase applies when you’re already dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya all!! thank you so much to everyone who read the prologue <33
> 
> we're starting to actually get into the story now, with longer chapters and some new characters. jeongin is being a sweetheart like always ;))
> 
> enjoy xoxo

Jeongin could feel himself getting more and more nervous as he walked.

It was weird being nervous. He no longer had the beating heart or the working lungs to fully get the nerves across. His breaths weren’t hitching, his hands weren’t shaking, his stomach wasn’t fluttering with a herd of butterflies. His body could no longer do any of those things, but he still felt all of it.

Jeongin had always heard that they were called phantom emotions, that while Jeongin still had a pure soul and a kind personality, he would always have a little bit of his humanity to hold onto. Even in the afterlife.

It may have been hard to admit, but there was a part of Jeongin found that extremely reassuring. He may have been dead, but it was nice to know that there was always going to be a part of him that was still alive. There would always be humanity in his soul.

Jeongin was also going to need all the humanity he could get; he was going to have to use every inch of his once-alive empathy if he was going to perform his purpose properly.

Or so he hoped.

Jeongin didn’t even know if it was his purpose, but he still wanted to do it right. He still wanted to help new souls.

He still wanted to be a reaper.

So, Jeongin imagined himself being able to take deep breaths as he stepped over the clouds, following the path that was so familiar yet so unfamiliar to him. There were so many empty souls that had walked this path, so many that were desperate to find a purpose. Jeongin knew that they had always come back happy, guided by the one who saw it all, but Jeongin was still hesitant. His soul may have been around for centuries, but he still felt so young.

But the problem with being young was that he got bored so easily.

Jeongin couldn’t just wander anymore. He needed a purpose. He needed to help.

He needed to guide the lost souls.

It was what Jeongin kept repeating to himself as he arrived at the door so many had described to him. It was just like people said it was, a big oak door resting seamlessly on a cloud, a pair of angel wings carved flawlessly into the wood.

Jeongin felt so small as he reached up a hand, the door towering over him by a good few feet. He almost turned back right there and then, deciding another few cycles in the Sanctuary couldn’t do any harm.

But then Jeongin remembered how scared he’d been when he died, how the reapers had been so kind to him, how that was the first time Jeongin had thought that maybe he did still have a heart in his chest.

Jeongin wanted to give that gift to someone else.

So, he knocked. He raised a hand, he closed his knuckles, and he placed three firm knocks against the door.

It sent a feeling of electricity buzzing through Jeongin’s non-existent veins, a phantom warmth bubbling under his skin that he welcomed. He could do this. He wanted this. He was doing this for good.

“Come in.”

The voice floated pleasantly from the other side of the door, curling around Jeongin’s ears and practically inviting him in the room. He twisted his hand around the handle, stepping inside with what felt like a pair of wings on his back.

He was immediately taken aback by the change of scenery.

The door had been sat on a cloud, no evidence of any kind of room behind it. But then Jeongin stepped through and he was suddenly surrounded by four tall walls, stretching upwards to a marble ceiling and a diamond chandelier hanging low in the middle.

It cast a pleasant glow around the room, the sky-blue walls shimmering like stars and the universe seemingly moving along them. There were constellations of planets and clusters of clouds painted all around, a faint mist swirling through the air and that felt like small presses of fingers against Jeongin’s skin.

He almost gasped at the touch.

“Sorry,” came a voice, “I’ve been told the change of scenery can be disorientating.”

Jeongin’s head snapped up, taking a few seconds to adjust before he blinked at the desk placed at the end of the room and the unnaturally ethereal man standing up from behind it.

“Y-yeah, a little bit,” Jeongin said, watching the man walk towards him and taking a few steps of his own to meet him in the middle of the room, “Um, hi.”

“Hello,” the man, _god?_ , smiled a sweet smile, dimples glittering on his cheeks, “Yang Jeongin, I’ve been told?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Jeongin bobbed his head, “Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“No worries, you can call me Chan, or hyung if you prefer,” ‘Chan’ chuckled, extending out a hand to lead Jeongin further into the room, “Please, come sit.”

Jeongin followed Chan to the desk, letting his eyes rake over him as he did so. Chan was remarkable to look at, he was a few inches shorter than Jeongin but had a presence that made him seem taller. His dark hair curled around his forehead, the jet-black shining with silver crystals that twinkled between the strands. There was a small gold headpiece nestled within the curls, sparkling in time with the constellations on the walls.

His white silk shirt hung off his large frame, fabric interwoven with light purple gems that dotted his collar and buttons. The gems were the same colour as Chan’s right eye, a bright purple orb with galaxies moving around inside of it, like Jeongin was looking into a crystal ball.

Chan’s left eye was just a normal brown, looking like any human eye if not for an extra added shine.

Jeongin almost gasped, one eye for seeing all the afterlife, one eye for seeing what was right in front of him.

Was Chan really… _a god?_

But, despite all this, Chan still seemed so young. His face was bright with youth and his skin was clear, his smile shining like a child’s. He’d clearly been young when he died, Jeongin couldn’t help but wonder just how long ago that could have been.

Usually, Jeongin was aware that such a young soul would not be trusted to rule the afterlife. Was this Chan’s purpose? How long had he been doing it? How long would it be before he fulfilled it?

“I can see you’re quite curious,” Chan said as he sat down behind his desk, smiling when Jeongin settled himself opposite him, a blush brightening his cheeks at being caught in his thoughts, “There’s no need to be embarrassed, it’s cute.”

Jeongin blushed harder, ducking his head when Chan giggled, “Sorry, you’re just… not what I expected.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Chan leant back in his chair, still smiling, “But I promise you, I’ll still do my best to help you.”

“Oh yes, of course!” Jeongin was quick to nod, not wanting to offend Chan, “Do you… do you really think I can be helped?”

“Without a doubt,” Chan didn’t hesitate before speaking, nodding in what looked like absolute certainty, “If this job has taught me anything, it’s that no one is beyond help.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened, almost feeling like his chest warmed at the words, “…really?”

“Of course,” Chan said, a slight shrug to his shoulders as he leant forward to put his elbows on the desk, staring at Jeongin with his sparkly eyes, “I’ve seen a lot of souls come through here, Jeongin. I’ve met souls who have died in all kinds of ways, who have absolutely no idea how to perform a purpose now that they’re no longer alive and without the ones they love.”

Jeongin listened intently, hanging onto Chan’s every word as he nodded along. He couldn’t help but be curious like Chan said, his mind picturing all the souls Chan talked about, all the people just trying to find a purpose like Jeongin was.

“If there’s anything these souls have taught me,” Chan continued, “It’s that no matter how lost you feel, no matter how much has been taken away from you, a little love and a little determination and a huge desire to help others will always help you find your way.”

Jeongin let out a little gasp, unable to hold it back at what Chan was saying. He couldn’t help but think that maybe Chan was right, maybe Jeongin would be okay. Maybe he was cut out for his own ambitions and the big looming question that was his purpose.

“I can see that little mind of yours running,” Chan’s dimples appeared in endearment, “I can’t alleviate all your worries, but I can tell you this. You’ll be okay, Jeongin.”

“I hope so,” Jeongin ducked his gaze, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, it’s my job,” Chan said, letting the words hang in the air before bringing his hands down to smack the arms of his chair and straightening his posture with a snap, “Now, onto business. A little birdie told me that you want to be a reaper.”

Jeongin startled at the mood change, his mind scrambling for a second before he caught back up, “Um… yeah. How did you know that?”

“I know a surprising amount, Jeongin,” Chan grinned a cheeky grin, “Besides, you’ve got the look. A young energetic soul eager to please, you’re perfect for it.”

“I guess that’s a good start,” Jeongin couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s the best start,” Chan winked, standing up from his chair, “Come with me.”

Jeongin followed Chan to the corner of the room, feeling curiosity once more bubble in his chest at what Chan was planning on.

“You really are a curious one,” Chan said, furrowing his brows playfully as he looked at Jeongin, “I would say that curiosity killed the cat, but I don’t know if that phrase applies when you’re already dead.”

“That’s not even the full phrase,” Jeongin said shyly, smiling when Chan nodded at him to go on, “It ends with _and satisfaction brought it back_.”

“Well, as good as my abilities are, I’m afraid I can’t quite do _that_ ,” Chan laughed, drawing a grin from Jeongin, “But I can satisfy your curiosity, so that will have to do.”

With that, he turned to the corner of the room, gesturing to a large globe Jeongin could have sworn wasn’t there before.

“What the…” Jeongin blinked, raking his eyes over the lights twinkling all over the delicate paint and excruciating detail on the globe, “Was that always there?”

“It was,” Chan said, “You just couldn’t see it before. Being a reaper will enable you to see a lot more, Jeongin.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened, his throat closing in a way that suggested his breath would have hitched if he still needed oxygen.

He was going to start seeing new things. He was going to start seeing what a reaper saw. He was really… he was really about to commit to being a reaper.

“What kind of things will I see?” Jeongin couldn’t help but ask, managing to pull his mesmerised gaze back up to look at Chan again.

“All of these souls,” Chan dragged his fingers over the still-shimmering lights clustered over the globe, “These are the current wanderers. The ones who have died but haven’t made it up here yet, you’ll be able to see all of them, you’ll be able to see the lives they led, the place that will be perfect up here for them in the afterlife.”

“Oh… wow,” Jeongin almost couldn’t speak, his fists bunching and fingernails starting to dig into his palms at what Chan was explaining, “I’ll really be able to see all that?”

Jeongin couldn’t even imagine it, couldn’t begin to process the idea of being able to see someone’s life. He’d see all the mistakes they made, all the awards they won, all the positives and negatives and unmentionable grey areas that rested somewhere in between.

That was what made people human. The bad things they did. The good things they worked for. Their private actions and constant inner-thoughts and the lives they shared and the ones they kept hidden.

Jeongin was going to see it. He was going to see all that in a person. And he was supposed to use that to guide them to the right place?

The thought was terrifying.

“You’ll only see what’s necessary, Jeongin,” Chan’s voice broke through Jeongin’s mind, his words kind and fingers cold as he brushed them over Jeongin’s wrist, “You’ll only be able to see the stuff that will guide you to the right answer, you don’t need to worry about the rest.”

“But what if I don’t see it?” Jeongin couldn’t help but feel a flare inside him, his feet taking him a step back and voice teeming with panic as he spoke, “What if I don’t know the right answer? Guiding someone to the afterlife, figuring out where they go, that’s big! That’s really big! I can’t be trusted with that!”

“Hey, hey, Jeongin, it’s okay,” Chan was quick to catch up to Jeongin, his hands wrapping around Jeongin’s shaking ones, “If I couldn’t trust you with this job, I wouldn’t give it to you.”

Jeongin swallowed heavily, trying to force back the voices screaming in his head, “R-Really?”

Chan squeezed Jeongin’s hands, staring straight into his eyes, “Really.”

Chan’s purple eye shone as he said the word, an entire galaxy exploding in it. It showed a world of truth, a world of kindness, a world of trust.

It was all condensed into one single eye, but Jeongin could see it like it was a whole planet. The trust in Chan’s eye, it was palpable, it was undeniable, it was there with the force of a thousand suns.

Chan, the one with the ability to see everything, the one who controlled the entire afterlife, the one who had a bigger purpose to fill than anyone, trusted _Jeongin_?

Why the hell would _anyone_ trust Jeongin with such a huge job?

Chan seemed to sense Jeongin’s thoughts, because only a few seconds later he was sighing sadly to himself and pulling Jeongin back towards the desk. He pushed Jeongin towards the chair he’d been sitting in before leaning against the desk in front of him, staring down at Jeongin with something heavy in his eyes.

“Jeongin,” he said, pausing to make sure he had Jeongin’s full attention before carrying on, “What are you so worried about?”

“I just…” Jeongin struggled around his words, not knowing how to put a whole mountain of stress and fear into speech, “I remember when the reapers came to me. I remember how much better they made me feel, how that was the first time I hadn’t been alone in weeks. I just… I really want to make another soul feel like that, I don’t want to terrify them even more.”

“Oh Jeongin,” Chan’s face broke out into a gentle smile, “I can absolutely promise you that you could never terrify another soul.”

“But what if I do it wrong?” Jeongin couldn’t help but say, his face constricted with worry and hands fiddling in his lap, “What if I don’t make them feel safe? What if I make their journey to the afterlife, their one journey, hard for them? No one deserves that.”

“The fact that you’re so worried about this in the first place says a lot, Jeongin,” Chan said, ducking down to make eye contact with Jeongin, “I can see how kind you are. I know how desperate you are to get this right. You’re going to be completely fine and all the souls you help will be lucky to have you.”

“But even if I do get them to the afterlife safely, how do I know where to take them?” Jeongin said, “What if they don’t belong in the Sanctuary? What if we end up in another place? What if something goes wrong?”

“You have so many questions, little one,” Chan reached forward, planting two firm hands on Jeongin’s shoulders and essentially forcing him to look at Chan, “If something goes wrong, there will _always_ be somewhere there to help you. You will _always_ know where your soul belongs. All of this will come naturally to you.”

Jeongin forced himself to listen to the words, stilling his hands and biting his lip as he processed them. Chan’s gaze was staring straight into his, looking so sure and so certain that Jeongin couldn’t help but believe him.

If Chan and his never-ending sight had some faith in Jeongin, then maybe Jeongin should also have some faith in himself.

“Do you promise?” Jeongin couldn’t stop himself from saying, Chan practically melting against him as he smiled.

“I’ve said this a thousand times today, but I’ll say it again,” Chan squeezed Jeongin’s shoulders, “I promise you will be fine, my curious little cat.”

Jeongin felt his lips curling up, his panic falling away to something nicer, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Chan said, poking Jeongin’s cheeks before moving back round the desk, sitting back down in his chair, “Not when you’re going to hate me for what I’m about to say next.”

Jeongin furrowed his brows, “What is it?”

“Well,” Chan placed his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers together, staring at Jeongin contemplatively for a few seconds, “How would you feel about starting today?”

Jeongin jolted in his chair, wondering if they really were about to go through this whole panic thing again, “ _Today_?!”

“Hey, no more of that!” Chan was quick to say, pointing a finger of Jeongin, “I promise I’m not about to send you into the big scary world on your own, but I just figured the sooner you start trying to find your purpose the better, right?”

“Yeah,” Jeongin forced himself to nod, “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Chan said, his eyes twinkling and his mouth opening in a smile when Jeongin giggled, “And, like I said, I’m not just going to send you off on your own and hope you cope. All reapers have to go through a training period.”

That admittedly sparked Jeongin’s curiosity all over again. A training period? He’d never heard of anything like that before.

“What exactly happens during reaper training?” Jeongin asked, unable to keep the apprehension from his voice.

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” Chan remarked, Jeongin having the decency to look at least a little apologetic, “Now there’s no real way to prepare someone for guiding a lost soul, so we figured the best way to train a reaper would be first-hand experience.”

Jeongin felt a spark of excitement tingle in his chest, “First-hand experience with… another reaper?”

“Yep,” Chan grinned, popping the ‘p’, “Basically, I’ve picked out a pair of reapers and you’ll shadow them for a bit, watch what they do and help them with it.”

“That sounds… surprisingly human,” Jeongin said with a tilt of his head, “And surprisingly simple.”

“Well, we did get some things right on Earth,” Chan smiled, “We figured it would be stupid to overlook them.”

“Smart,” Jeongin shrugged, mulling it over for a couple of seconds before he realised he now had a new question, “So, do you know which reapers I’ll be with?”

Chan broke out into a grin at that, eyes twinkling knowingly, “As a matter of fact,” he said, “I do.”

Jeongin felt his eyebrows raise, wondering what Chan’s reaction meant, “So, who are they?”

“They’re quite a pair,” Chan said, tilting his head, “Their names are Minho and Seungmin and, combined, they have about three centuries reaping experience.”

“Wow,” Jeongin couldn’t help but be impressed, “They must be really good then.”

“Ehhh,” Chan winced slightly, an amused look on his face, “They’re damn good reapers that’s for sure, but they’re also complete menaces.”

“Oh,” Jeongin said, unsure what he was supposed to do with that information, “What does that mean exactly?”

“Well for starters, no one can quite work out if they’re married or divorced,” Chan said, “They bicker for hours, constantly nitpick at each other and the side-eyes they give one another are truly award-worthy. But if you tried to separate them, there would be absolute hell to pay.”

“And the new souls find this comforting?” Jeongin raised an eyebrow, unable to hold back the dubiousness. He understood that all reapers were different, but he thought that they all had to be at least somewhat gentle.

“I think it actually works quite nicely for some of the souls,” Chan said, seeming to have also struggled with the concept, “I don’t know, maybe some people like the idea of always having someone by your side, no matter how much you pretend to hate each other.”

“I guess,” Jeongin said, admittedly feeling a little less nervous to meet them after Chan’s words, “Do you think it… do you think it makes the soul think about the idea of soulmates?”

Chan seemed to startle at those words, the purple in his eye flashing for a second before he smoothed it down. He stared at Jeongin for a few moments, his lips pursing and eyes twinkling before he spoke.

“Even I don’t know about the existence of soulmates, Jeongin,” he said, pausing to think before carrying on, “But I can admit that there is definitely some possibility that they are out there. And if there’s anyone that are soulmates, it’s Minho and Seungmin. Maybe that… maybe that really is what comforts the souls that they pick up.”

A surprised look came over Chan’s face as he finished, his gaze glossing over like he was thinking about something new, “I never really thought about it that way before.”

“Perhaps that’s why they’re so successful?” Jeongin said, “Souls feel more likely to end up in the right place when they see how Minho-ssi and Seungmin-ssi managed to find each other.”

“And they also find the time to laugh when they get to hear the creative insults Minho and Seungmin like to throw at each other,” Chan grinned, “You know what? I think you three are going to get on great together.”

Jeongin couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling his nerves settle even more at the amused way Chan was looking at him. There was some endearment swirling with the amusement, his whole aura glittering with nothing but faith and trust in Jeongin to do a good job. There was some part of Jeongin that felt flattered by that.

“So,” Chan’s voice broke through Jeongin’s thoughts, “Are you ready to meet them?”

Jeongin felt his body jolt, his eyes shooting up and what almost felt like a stutter tightening in his chest, “Now?!”

“There’s no better time than the present,” Chan said with a smile, “And they’re excited to meet you.”

Jeongin racked his brain for any possible reason for why he might not be able to start as soon as Chan wanted, but he couldn’t find anything. Every phantom emotion, every doubt, every possible extra year spent at the Sanctuary, all of it felt so insignificant compared to what Jeongin was about to do.

Maybe Jeongin really was ready.

So, Jeongin smacked his palms down on the desk before he could stop himself, staring at Chan with a determined look in his eyes, “Okay, I can do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Chan said with an equal amount of determination, “You’ve got this, little one.”

Jeongin smiled, standing up from his chair as Chan did the same, the two of them rounding the desk to meet each other in a hug.

“Thank you so much, hyung,” Jeongin said, leaning into the veil of warmth Chan had wrapped around him, “You really have helped me.”

“Don’t thank me,” Chan said, tightening the hug for a second before he pulled away, eyes glistening into Jeongin’s, “Just exit through the door you entered through, okay? You’ll be fine.”

Jeongin nodded, wishing for the millionth time that he could take a deep breath. But he let Chan’s lingering touch on his arms calm his nerves instead, allowing himself to get his bearings before he pulled away.

He cast one glance up at Chan, feeling the whole universe sparkle between them before he forced himself to turn away. Jeongin was going to do this. He was going to find his purpose.

Jeongin’s footsteps echoed across the floor as he crossed the room towards the door, feeling Chan’s gaze burning into his back the whole way. He didn’t stop until he was right in front of the door, the entire room seeming to stand still as he stared down at the handle.

It felt like the entire world was resting on Jeongin’s shoulders, like the weight of the universe was tipping precariously out of balance. Jeongin still didn’t know if he was cut out for what he was about to do, still didn’t know if this was the right purpose or if he even had a purpose in the first place.

But Jeongin knew he had to try. He couldn’t just be a wanderer anymore. He wanted to be the reaper that helped people.

So, Jeongin forced down his nerves, taking a second to calm his thoughts before reaching forward and wrapping his fingers around the doorknob. It twisted easily in his hand.

There was one second, one truly fateful second, where Jeongin felt like he might be alive again.

The doorknob felt so solid under his fingertips, the floor felt so light and supportive underneath him, his heart felt like it was about to start beating again.

Jeongin felt like he was about to enter a new life.

So, with his entire world changing around him and a whole new future lying ahead, Jeongin walked through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> i know there wasn't much action in this chapter, i just had to get some stuff set up. i also couldn't resist the idea of an all-powerful, all-knowing chan lol
> 
> we're gradually going to start meeting all the members one-by-one. as you've probably guessed, we'll be meeting minho and seungmin next and i must say that i'm very excited for their introductions ;))
> 
> please stay safe and have a wonderful day <3


	3. Around the Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my god,” Jeongin practically breathed the words out, his thumbs shaking against the edges of the paper, “Am I… am I reading about my life?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya, thank you so much to anyone who enjoyed the first two chapters!!
> 
> we meet some new characters here and find out some new things. we also have some hints at plot~~
> 
> please enjoy!!

The door did not go where Jeongin expected it to.

Instead of the clouds and endless open area Jeongin had entered the door from, he found himself stepping into what looked like an office.

Although, it was a bit more decorated than the usual human office. The walls were lined with maps, some displaying the entire world whilst others were zoomed in to specific areas and countries.

And the maps themselves moved, the weather changed depending on the place, people milled about in them, living their fully-functional, fully-breathing lives on Earth for all to see.

It was almost like the walls weren’t maps at all. They looked too realistic, too lively. They were almost like screens, glowing with the evidence of human life and tiny specks of light moving where the ghosts were, showing the places Jeongin would soon find himself to help the souls that were no longer alive.

“Ah,” Jeongin jumped at the sound of a voice in front of him, whipping his gaze to where two people were now staring at him, “Fresh meat.”

Jeongin swallowed, suddenly feeling a lot more terrified at the two sets of intense eyes now boring into him.

The two figures were sat at a desk. Well, one of them was sat on the correct side of their desk, surrounded by papers with an almost irritated look on their face. The other seemed to have neglected their own desk on the other side of the room and was instead sitting with their feet up on half the papers, an amused cock to their eyebrow.

It didn’t take Jeongin long to figure out he was staring at the infamous Minho and Seungmin.

“Hello there,” the one with their feet on the desk said, their voice exuding confidence and a smirk on their face as they stood up, “I’m Minho, but you can call me hyung.”

“Hi, hyung,” Jeongin forced back a stutter, bowing hurriedly as Minho sauntered over to him, “I-I’m Jeongin.”

Minho’s lips twisted even more at Jeongin’s shyness, Jeongin almost gasping when he got a proper look at Minho’s face.

If Jeongin had found Chan beautiful, then Minho was absolutely gorgeous.

He had bright red hair, falling delicately over his forehead and sweeping majestically above his eyebrows. His eyes were a jet black, looking like endless voids of beauty that Jeongin felt he could have gotten lost in right then and there.

The area of skin surrounding Minho’s eyes was decorated with small black swirls, some shining with glitter and others twisting subtly on his skin.

Jeongin had heard of those; reaper runes. They were small face-markings a reaper developed after years of having a second sight and staring into souls. The patterns were different for all reapers, but all equally beautiful.

But what was somehow most distinctive about Minho was his outfit. He wore a small black dress made up of small strappy sleeves and a short, pleated skirt. His legs were barely covered by fishnets, leading down to a pair of ankle boots that were more heel than anything else.

His wrists were jingling with silver bracelets, his nails black and numerous necklaces hanging off his neck. He looked equally intimidating and attractive, and Jeongin had to force himself to tear his eyes away.

“Nice to meet you, Jeongin,” Minho eventually said, the smug look on his face suggesting he knew Jeongin had been staring, “I hope we get along well.”

Before Jeongin could even try to work up a response to that, another voice was speaking.

“You’re not going to get along if you keep trying to intimidate him like that,” the other figure snarked, walking up behind Minho and holding a business-like hand out to Jeongin, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jeongin. I’m Seungmin, but you can also call me hyung.”

“Okay, hyung,” Jeongin scrambled to shake hands with Seungmin, almost jumping at his surprisingly strong grip, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Seungmin smiled in response, Jeongin convinced that if his heart could still beat, it would have jumped in that moment.

Seungmin’s beauty wasn’t necessarily the hot and gorgeous kind, but he was still undeniably stunning in a whole other way.

His hair was a bright silver, parted in the middle and pushed back to show his forehead. He had one silver eye and one that was jet-black like Minho’s, both of them surrounded by reaper runes in the shape of tiny stars that twinkled on his face.

His cheekbones were high, each dusted with a gentle touch of glitter that caught the office light when he angled his head a certain way, his face looking like it was taken directly from the evening sky.

Jeongin’s eyes travelled down to Seungmin’s outfit, something clicking in his mind when he realised Seungmin’s style was very different to Minho’s, but there were certain similarities that were impossible to ignore.

Seungmin wore a silk black shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a few of the top buttons undone. It was tucked into a pair of black trousers that led down to black dress shoes, also heeled like Minho’s boots.

The collar of the shirt was engraved with faint patterns very similar to the ones on Minho’s bracelets and his nails were painted an elegant silver. It was then that Jeongin noticed that Minho and Seungmin were standing very close to one another, their hands brushing too many times for it be an accident.

Jeongin smiled, but he didn’t comment on it.

“So,” Jeongin mustered up the confidence to speak, “Chan-hyung told me you guys have lots of experience in reaping?”

“I guess you could say that,” Minho’s lips quirked up in a lazy grin, “I’ve got just under two centuries of experience, Seungmin here has just over 1.”

“We’ve never trained a reaper before,” Seungmin said, giving Minho a look before turning back to Jeongin, “But I can assure you that we know what we’re doing.”

“It’s okay, I trust you,” Jeongin said, not missing the small look of endearment on both their faces at his words, “I’m… I’m really excited to get started.”

“That’s the spirit!” Minho chirped, all his smugness fading away to a friendlier look, “Do you want me to help you get started?”

“Yes, that’d be great,” Jeongin said, feeling himself relax as Minho smiled back at him, “Thanks.”

“No problem, kiddo,” Minho said, signalling Jeongin to follow him as he turned and walked further into the room, Seungmin quietly making his way back to his own desk.

Minho took Jeongin over to the furthest right wall, standing only a foot away from it so Jeongin could see the map up close. It was a huge map of the whole world, decorated with endless dots of light where the souls were wandering on Earth.

“So, I’m sure Chan-hyung showed you his really cool globe and told you that each individual light represents a soul that has yet to be reaped,” Minho explained, pausing to wait for Jeongin’s nod before he carried on, “Okay good. So, obviously the first part of our job is then working out which souls are ready for us to find and which ones we should leave alone for the moment. Do you have any idea how we go about that?”

Jeongin felt himself blush, “No, I’m not sure. Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Minho waved him off, pointing his hand back up to the map, “If you look at these lights really closely, your second sight should start to activate. You’ll then notice that some of them are a lot brighter than others.”

Jeongin frowned, eyes raking over the map in slight apprehension. All the lights looked the same to him, the same beautiful drops of sunshine, the same stars sparkling at him from Earth.

But then Jeongin thought back to Chan’s office, to when he’d suddenly been able to see the globe out of nowhere. Chan had proved to him that Jeongin _did_ have the ability to develop his own second sight, he just needed to relax and let it happen.

So, Jeongin stared back up at the map, untensing all his muscles and trying to ignore Minho at his side, pretending it was just him staring up at a night sky, searching for constellations.

It was then that there was a sudden surge, Jeongin almost wincing when some of the lights practically flashed with how hard they were glowing, others dimming lowly against the paint of the wall.

“Oh my god!” Jeongin broke out into a grin, raking his eyes over the twinkling lights in front of him, “I see it!”

“Wow,” Seungmin said from behind, Jeongin turning around to see him raising an impressed eyebrow in his direction, “You learn fast.”

“He takes after the best,” Minho said, winking before Jeongin could even think about mustering up a thanks, “This is why I’m the one teaching him.”

“You say that like it didn’t take you a full half-hour to see the lights in the first place, hyung” Seungmin said, ignoring Minho’s spluttering as he turned back to Jeongin, “You just pictured the globe in Chan-hyung’s office, didn’t you?”

Jeongin nodded sheepishly, “Yeah.”

“Smart,” Seungmin smiled, meeting eyes with Jeongin before he went back to his desk, Minho’s hand landing on Jeongin’s shoulder and turning him back to the wall.

“Well, ignoring all _very rude_ interruptions,” Minho said, Jeongin laughing at the snort from behind them, “These lights all have different brightness for a reason, do you know what it is?”

“Um,” Jeongin paused for a couple of moments, mulling the question over in his head, “I’m guessing that the brighter lights are easier to see, so they’re easier to find, which means they’re the ones that are the readiest to be reaped.”

Minho’s mouth fell open, his eyes staring at Jeongin in wonder, “Wow, we really did get ourselves a smart one.”

Jeongin couldn’t help but blush, “It’s just what made the most sense to me, I guess…”

“Well, you’re absolutely right,” Minho said, pointing back up at the map and bringing Jeongin’s attention to a few of the most noticeable lights, “The brighter the light, the more we watch them. We wait until there’s one light distinctly brighter than all the rest, then that’s the one we go to.”

Jeongin’s gaze flickered back up to all the lights, at the sheer number of them spanning the entire wall, “Isn’t that a little hard to spot?”

“It can be at first,” Minho shrugged, “But you’ll get the hang of it. I trust that you’ll have no trouble.”

“If you’re sure,” Jeongin hesitated on the words, still staring at all the souls he was supposed to be able to find a needle in a haystack in.

“I am sure,” Minho turned to Jeongin, a look of absolute confidence on his face, “Now, if you head over to my delightful little friend Seungmin over there, he’ll go through all the paperwork with you.”

Jeongin cocked his head, “Paperwork?” he said, giving Minho a look before walking over to where Seungmin was still sat behind his desk, staring at Minho through narrowed eyes.

“I swear it’s not as boring as Minho-hyung makes it sound,” Seungmin said, gesturing for Jeongin to sit in the chair Minho had left discarded across from him, “It’s quite interesting if you actually _read_ what’s in front of you, rather than just staring at it.”

“Nerd,” Minho snarked, Jeongin having to stifle a laugh when Seungmin rolled his eyes.

“This is what he means when he says _paperwork_ ,” Seungmin carried on, pushing a pile of paper towards where Jeongin was now sat on the other side of the desk, “I think you’ll find it pretty… intriguing.”

Jeongin tilted his head, hesitating before reaching for the paper, pulling it towards himself with apprehension swirling in his chest. It took him a second to register what he was reading, the whole room starting to spin around him when he realised what it was.

“Oh my god,” Jeongin practically breathed the words out, his thumbs shaking against the edges of the paper, “Am I… am I reading about my life?”

“It’s your file, Jeongin,” Seungmin said, a solemn edge to his voice, “Everyone has one.”

Jeongin didn’t even spare him a glance, too busy raking his eyes over every word written before him. The file described him, who he was, what he’d done and the more pages Jeongin flicked through, the more he realised just how detailed it was.

Every mistake Jeongin had made was on paper. Everything he’d ever felt good about was written before him. Every smile, every tear, every moment his heart had beat was now reduced to a file in his hands.

Jeongin opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t find a single thing to say. His whole life was laid out before him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with it.

His gaze fell onto a particular paragraph, his vision focusing on nothing but the horrifying words in it. He’d had his fair share of wrong moments in his life, of times he’d wished he’d done anything other than what he did and, before he could even stop himself, his hand reached out to touch the words.

Seungmin let out a shout at the action, his hand shooting across the table, but it was too late. Jeongin’s fingers landed on the words and he was suddenly engulfed by a bright blue light.

Jeongin tried to scream, tried to move his hand, tried to fight back, but the light was relentless. He was dragged down without mercy. There was a high-pitched buzzing in his ears, his every sense screaming at him to get away.

But Jeongin couldn’t escape, he fell until his vision cleared. The blue light faded away to a sight that had Jeongin’s chest tightening in horror. He was standing in the room that had both created and destroyed so much for him over the years.

_“Innie, please!” the shout carried from wall to wall, screeching through Jeongin’s ears like a banshee, making him want to cower and cover his face so he wouldn’t have to face what was happening, “Innie, listen to me!”_

_Jeongin tried to ignore it, he really did, but he couldn’t._

_He was stood in the middle of his bedroom, feet planted firmly on the rug and refusing to move as chaos exploded around him. His boyfriend was stalking all throughout the room, throwing open drawers and tossing clothes out the wardrobe and desperately trying to find everything of his that had found itself into Jeongin’s room during the time they’d been together._

_“Shouldn’t you be trying to stop me?!” Jeongin’s boyfriend shrieked, sounding so offended and so angry in the same sentence, “Do you really want me to leave?!”_

_Jeongin didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. This fight had been a long time coming, too many missed dates and endless bickers and snappy comments at each other that had obviously taken their toll._

_It made Jeongin so unbelievably sad to see his relationship crumble right in front of his eyes, but he’d never done enough to stop it. He loved his boyfriend, he loved him so much, but for some reason he couldn’t motivate himself to win him back. Jeongin was tired of the fighting, and he was willing to do anything to make it stop._

_“I thought you wanted me around!” Jeongin’s boyfriend was close to tears now, pulling back Jeongin’s bedcovers to try and find the sweater he’d slept in the night before, “Why are you letting me leave?”_

_Jeongin was asking himself the same question. Why was he letting his boyfriend leave? Why was Jeongin letting the best thing that had ever happened to him walk out the door? Why was Jeongin hurting himself and his boyfriend like that?_

_Jeongin’s boyfriend, before their relationship started to rot, had been nothing but sweet. He took Jeongin on dazzling dates, bought him flowers almost every week, made Jeongin feel like he genuinely meant something in the world. And Jeongin had done nothing to win him back, was just letting him walk away and break both their hearts without a second thought._

_Did Jeongin really deserve his boyfriend?_

_Did he deserve anything good in the world when he was so willing to waste it?_

_“I’m leaving, Jeongin,” his boyfriend wasn’t shouting anymore. He was standing by the bedroom door with a backpack on his shoulder and another bag clutched in his hand. There was a dejected look on his face, a look of why the hell are you letting me leave._

_Jeongin so badly wanted to shout at him to stay. He wanted to call out and rush to him and throw himself in his boyfriend’s arms, promising that they could be together forever._

_But something kept Jeongin glued to his spot. He just looked his boyfriend in the eyes, screaming at himself to do something whilst simultaneously not moving a muscle._

_“I guess this is goodbye,” the words were like bullets in the air, “Thanks for loving me… if you even did.”_

_That felt like a punch to the gut._

_Jeongin practically choked on the spot, flinching harshly when the door slammed. His chest ripped open at the thought of his boyfriend – ex-boyfriend – thinking Jeongin had never loved him. Jeongin had loved him so much._

_But had Jeongin shown him that?_

_Jeongin had let him walk out the door, had let him feel rejected and lonely and unloved when he needed Jeongin the most. That had been Jeongin’s fault._

_Jeongin never heard from his boyfriend again after that. He carried that moment with him to his last breath, it was the moment he always knew he had made a terrible mistake._

A loud gasp ricocheted through the office as Jeongin came back into the afterlife.

The paper dropped out his hands, his whole body shaking in an overwhelming rush of emotions he wasn’t even alive to have. He felt the sensation of phantom tears prickling at his eyes, all the heartbreak of what had been one of the worst moments of his life hitting him like a train.

“Jeongin,” Jeongin barely registered the call of his name, flinching at a hand wrapping itself around his wrist, “Jeongin, look at me.”

It took Jeongin a few moments to understand the words, his mind having to put them together before he looked up.

Seungmin had rounded the desk and was now stood in front of him, a hand reaching out to touch Jeongin. Minho flanked his shoulder, staring at Jeongin with concern flashing in his eyes. One of his hands was bunched in the shoulder of Seungmin’s shirt, squeezing in what looked like a search for comfort.

Despite the pain in his chest, Jeongin felt a prickle of happiness at the sight. Minho looked almost like a child, worry shimmering from his dark eyes. And, during all that, he’d sought out Seungmin. He’d reached for the one most likely to be his soulmate.

_Soulmates_.

Jeongin felt another rush of devastation at the words, but he forced himself to push it down. Him and his boyfriend hadn’t been soulmates. They can’t have been. Jeongin didn’t even know if soulmates existed, but if they did, there was no way Jeongin could have just let his walk away.

Jeongin had made a mistake, but it couldn’t have been _that_ terrible of a mistake.

_Could it?_

Jeongin pushed the thought down, violently shaking his head before letting his gaze find Seungmin and Minho again, deciding to try and forget about soulmates for the moment.

He cleared his throat, “What… what was that?” he asked, gesturing at the paper now lying on the floor and the words that Jeongin had somehow fallen into.

“You touched your file,” Seungmin said gently, waiting a moment before reaching down to pick it up, “I should have warned you about that, I’m sorry. This is a lot more than a piece of paper. It has your whole life inside it.”

“You mean to tell me that you’ve had a way back into my life this whole time?” Jeongin said, unable to keep the bite from his voice, “You’ve had a way into everyone’s lives? And you haven’t told anyone? You’ve just kept it?!”

Jeongin felt a rush of anger, his insides flaring at the thought of being denied his memories, of being kept away from all the things he had so desperately missed. Maybe if he’d had those things, he wouldn’t have spent so much time at the Sanctuary. Maybe he could have found his purpose sooner.

“We know what you’re thinking, Jeongin,” Minho’s tone of voice made Jeongin even angrier, but he didn’t say anything, “But you’re wrong, giving people access to their files would make everything worse. What you just saw proves it.”

“I saw one of the worst moments of my life!” Jeongin exclaimed, “But if I got to see my happy moments, maybe I’d be okay! Maybe I’d actually be okay with being dead if I was allowed to at least try and remember being alive!”

“We all wish that was the way it worked,” Seungmin said, Jeongin blinking at the way his voice carried so much pain for someone who looked so young, “But it’s not. You need to understand that if we showed people these things, they’d never move on.”

“Some people have files so much bigger than yours,” Minho said, him and Seungmin sharing a look that said a thousand things before he turned back to Jeongin, “Some people have led these big, full lives and they could literally spend forever going through their files. Always living through the happy moments they’ll never have again, forever re-living their worst mistakes, getting stuck in the most awful moments they ever lived.”

“We’re only given one life for a reason, Jeongin,” Seungmin said, “We can’t do anything to change it, which is why it’s so easy to get stuck in these files, and so hard to get out. These are helpful in teaching us about new souls, but they’re really harmful for anything beyond that.”

“The moment you just saw,” Minho said, pointing at Jeongin’s file, “Imagine being able to re-live that whenever you chose. You’d end up destroying yourself watching it over and over again, never able to find a purpose or move on. We can’t let that happen to everyone.”

Jeongin swallowed heavily, letting the words wash over him. He felt his chest sinking, his phantom heart staring to hurt.

He had to admit that Minho and Seungmin were right. The file… it was dangerous. It had the potential to absolute destroy Jeongin, to get to him through his most intimate, awful moments and shred him from the inside.

It was better if it was out of his hands.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jeongin eventually said, pushing all the other papers on the desk away from himself with a huff, “Sorry for freaking out on you.”

“It’s okay,” Seungmin cracked a small smile, “We’re sorry for springing all this on you. We just wanted to make sure you understand just how fragile our job is, how you have to be careful with every decision you make and every soul you touch. We all lived such complicated lives, don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t,” Jeongin nodded firmly, “I promise.”

“We trust you,” Minho said, squeezing Seungmin’s shoulder before reaching across to squeeze Jeongin’s, “And trust me, this experience wasn’t all bad.”

Jeongin perked up, “How come?”

Minho smiled, his head tilting to gesture behind Jeongin, “Look at the wall.”

Jeongin whipped around, curiosity sparking within him like lightning as he bounced on his chair.

He locked eyes with the wall, confusion racing through him for a few seconds before he spotted it. His whole face brightened, his fingertips starting to tingle and something unfamiliar swirling in his stomach.

“Oh my god, the light!” Jeongin was out his chair like a shot and rushing over to the wall, staring up at the light, the one light, that was shining brighter than the rest, “It’s ready! The soul is ready!”

“It sure is,” Seungmin came up behind Jeongin, “They’re waiting for us, ready for us to take them to the afterlife.”

Jeongin practically vibrated on the spot. He was actually about to reap someone, actually about to start his job as a reaper.

He was one step closer to finding his purpose.

“Here,” Jeongin turned at the sound of Minho’s voice, flinching when he saw that Minho was holding a file out for him, “Don’t worry, it’s not your file.”

Jeongin hesitated to reach out and take it, but eventually he did, his eyes scanning over the unfamiliar name on the front, “This is the soul we’re about to reap?”

“It is,” Minho nodded, “Keep this file on you whilst we’re talking to the soul. Learn about them, see what kind of person they are and what kind of person they appear to be. We’ll use all of this to help them.”

Jeongin clasped his hands further around the file, staring at it in what felt like grim determination. He was excited to start his job, but the doubts and anxiety were starting to creep in. Who was Jeongin, of all people, to determine someone’s fate in the afterlife?

“Hey, stop thinking,” Seungmin said, making Jeongin pout when he flicked him on the head, “I know it seems hard, but you’ll learn how to manage it, I promise.”

“And, in the meantime, we’re here to help you,” Minho said, “It’s going to be okay.”

Jeongin nodded, letting himself smile when Seungmin threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Now stare at the light,” Seungmin said, pointing at the star shining the brightest in the night sky, “Focus on it, focus as hard as you can. Imagine life being on the other side, imagine being alive once again on Earth, imagine exactly what that would feel like.”

The words admittedly made Jeongin feel a little uneasy, but he listened to them, feeling Seungmin’s thumb start to stroke his shoulder and Minho’s arm link with is as he did so.

Jeongin closed his eyes, seeing the light shimmering behind his eyelids. He imagined it really was a star, imagined that he was standing under a real night sky, breathing in cold night air with wet grass under his feet and a breeze sweeping through his air.

He imagined taking in breath after breath, being able to feel the cold, getting to see the completely natural light of a living, breathing planet.

Jeongin let himself get immersed in it, feeling as light as a feather when another blue light sucked him in.

But this blue light wasn’t menacing. It surrounded him and pulled him down, but it did so gently.

Jeongin felt like he was breathing air again.

But then his feet landed on something solid. His eyes flew open, his vision blurring for a few seconds before it adjusted, Jeongin’s knees almost buckling when he realised where he was.

He was stood in a graveyard, the ground covered in damp green grass with high trees towering above him. There were birds flying overhead, small groups of people milling about, stone grey statues aged with decay and tears, cracks visible in the rock.

Jeongin gasped. He was on _earth._

He felt his skin tingling with the feeling, his head whipping everywhere as he tried to look at everything. But it didn’t take him long to realise something, or rather _someone_ , didn’t belong.

There was a boy, probably around Jeongin’s age, stood a few feet away from one of the graves, staring at it like he wanted to smash his fist into the stone. Jeongin looked at the name engraved on the front, recognising it to be the same name he’d seen written on the file.

That was when Jeongin remember exactly what he was there for.

The boy hadn’t noticed them yet. No one had. Jeongin knew that no one except the boy could see them, but it still felt eerie to have so many people looking at him but not really seeing him.

That was until Minho took a step forward, waiting for a second that seemed like an eternity before he cleared his throat.

The boy jumped around three feet in the air, his eyes widening and mouth dropping open as he whipped around. He stared at Minho in shock, gaze raking all over him before quickly zooming over Jeongin and Seungmin.

Jeongin swallowed heavily, he remembered this moment form his reaping extremely well.

The confusion, the shock, the urge to run away from someone who could actually see him but the merciless need to throw himself at them. Jeongin remembered all of it.

But none of it was nearly as overwhelming as what followed.

Minho took another step forward and opened his mouth, not even flinching when the boy practically shrieked at him.

“Han Jisung,” Minho said, voice as clear as a bell, “It’s time for you to enter the afterlife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> i hope this chapter was okay and not too confusing. I know the world this is set in does work in some mysterious ways, so i hope i wrote it well xx
> 
> also that ending?? hmmmmm, i'm very excited for the next chapter
> 
> please take care of yourself, remember to eat and drink water and stay healthy <3


	4. All in Good Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my god,” Jisung shook his head, looking somewhere between disbelief and amusement, “My own grim reaper is in goddamn training?” 
> 
> “Hey!” Jeongin couldn’t hold back his pout, “I’m doing my best!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya all, i was watching the good place whilst i was writing this chapter and idk i found that kinda funny (it's a very good show, 10/10 would recommend)
> 
> tw: some implied mourning/grief in this chapter, nothing too graphic or insensitive, just please stay safe <3

The words made time stop for a second.

Jeongin’s whole body froze, Seungmin didn’t move a single muscle from next to him, even the swirl of air seemed to hang in the balance as Minho stared, like a statue, at Jisung.

Jisung’s mouth dropped open, his eyes blinking a few times before he closed it again, looking a little bit like a fish. Jeongin could only imagine that he’d looked similarly ridiculous when he’d first been approached by reapers.

It was Jisung’s first time being seen by anyone in weeks, the first time someone had actually spoken to and addressed him since he’d died. He’d probably already resigned himself to an eternal ghostly life on Earth, invisible to everyone he loved.

But now Minho was staring right at him, Jeongin and Seungmin only a few feet behind. All of them standing like bodyguards who wouldn’t let him out their sight.

Eventually, Jisung seemed to realise that Minho had no more to say. So, he visibly cleared his throat, lips parting a few times before he finally managed to speak.

“I-I’m sorry, what?” he said, sounding so heart-breakingly confused, “It’s time for me to enter the what?”

“The afterlife,” Minho said, less serious this time, taking another slow and tentative step forward, “Your soul is ready to be reaped.”

“ _Reaped?_ ” Jisung borderline screeched, his eyes widening and fingers bunching his sweater into fists, “I’m being _reaped_?!”

“We understand this is a lot,” Seungmin spoke this time, his words calm and measured like he was talking to a wild animal, “So, we don’t have to leave straight away if you’re not ready.”

“Not ready?!” Jisung was almost shouting by this point, Jeongin unable to help but feel sad for him as he raked his eyes frantically over the three of them, “I died weeks ago! Why is this only just happening now? Why are you even able to see me? I thought there wasn’t an afterlife!”

“There’s not an afterlife until you’re ready for one,” Minho said calmly, “That’s why we didn’t come to you until now.”

The words finally seemed to stump Jisung, his whole body stopping as he just looked back at Minho. He was strung tight like an elastic, his muscles so tense that Jeongin thought they were going to snap and deflate any second.

Jisung’s eyes were practically vibrating with questions and Jeongin could see every one of them. Jisung wanted to know who they were, where they were taking him, what was going to happen to him and if he’d ever see his loved ones again.

He wanted to know if he’d been a good person, if they were going to punish or praise him, if he had any chance to make up for the short life he’d lived on earth.

Jeongin wanted nothing more than to rush to Jisung and answer every question he had, to explain the Sanctuary and purposes and all the new chances Jisung would have. Jeongin even wanted to tell Jisung about the possibility of soulmates. He wanted Jisung to know every single detail about the afterlife, because it was what a confused soul like him deserved.

But Jeongin knew he couldn’t do that. Jisung was already overwhelmed enough. He couldn’t physically pass out, but Jeongin figured he could get him pretty close if he actually did rush to explain everything.

So, instead, Jeongin took a gentler approach.

He worked up his courage to speak, clearing his throat before meeting his gentle eyes with Jisung’s terrified ones.

“There’s a bench over there,” Jeongin said as tenderly as he could, pointing a few feet away to a well-cared for bench covered in roses, “If you feel the need to sit down.”

Both Minho and Seungmin snapped their gazes to Jeongin, probably not expecting him to speak up so soon. He almost shrunk under their scrutiny, but resisted when the chaotic mess of emotions on Jisung’s face switched to something more grateful.

“Thanks,” Jisung said, giving Jeongin a small bow before walking shakily over to the bench, dropping onto it with a heavy, breathless sign.

Minho and Seungmin stayed silent as Jisung ran his hands through his hair, letting his arms cover his face for a few seconds before he dropped them back down, looking back up at the three of them with a look Jeongin couldn’t decipher.

“So,” Jisung said, pursing his lips, “A-are you guys reapers then?”

“We are,” Minho nodded, his serious front cracking a little when he tilted his head with a small smile, “Well, technically we are. Jeongin is in training, but he’s doing a good job.”

“Oh my god,” Jisung shook his head, looking somewhere between disbelief and amusement, “My own grim reaper is in goddamn _training_?”

“Hey!” Jeongin couldn’t hold back his pout, “I’m doing my best!”

Jisung actually managed a smile at that, his shoulders even untensing slightly as he started to relax. He met Jeongin’s gaze, silently thanking him for lightening what had been a very solemn mood. Jeongin just smiled back, knowing a smile and a friendly face had been exactly what helped him.

“So, my reapers,” Jisung said after a moment, “What exactly does ‘reaping’ mean?”

“You’re asking where we’re taking you?” Seungmin said, waiting for Jisung’s nod before carrying on, “We’re taking you to the afterlife.”

Jeongin could have sworn that he saw the confused, terrified Jisung roll his eyes in that moment.

“Well, I know we’re going to the _afterlife_ ,” Jisung drawled, “I just… wanted to know what the afterlife _is_ exactly. Is it heaven? Hell? Oh my god, I’m going to hell, aren’t I?”

Towards the end, Jisung’s voice got more high-pitched, his eyes widening again like a little child’s. Jeongin still barely knew who Jisung was, what he’d done with his life, but he knew in that moment that someone like Jisung could never end up somewhere even closer to hell.

“You’re not going to hell, Jisung-ah,” Minho had an amused smile on his lips, his dark eyes catching the light in a way that made him seem gentler, “You’ll find out everything as we go along, but I can assure you that you’re not going to hell.”

“Ah, good,” Jisung looked genuinely relieved, like there was a chance he thought he might actually end up somewhere as horrific as hell.

It made Jeongin curious about what kind of life Jisung had led that he thought such a thing. Jeongin was sure it wasn’t that bad; they’d all made their mistakes. But it made Jeongin wonder what kind of mistakes Jisung had made, how they’d affected his life and possibly the way he would conduct himself in the afterlife.

Jeongin felt bad for doing it, but he knew it was necessary in becoming a reaper. So, he watched Minho and Seungmin sit down next to Jisung to explain a few more things before he disappeared off to the side and pulled out Jisung’s file.

Jeongin stared down at it for a few seconds, wondering if he was really about to open it, to pry on someone else’s life. But then he heard Jisung let out a small whimper from behind him and he knew he had to. He couldn’t help Jisung unless he knew more about his life.

So, Jeongin let his intuition take over, closing his eyes and letting his unconscious second sight take over and open the file onto a page he hoped would help him. A page where Jisung made a mistake.

Jeongin opened his eyes just as his fingers brushed over some of the words, more prepared this time as the blue light engulfed him and he was pulled down into another life.

He fell for a few seconds, finding himself surrounded by rooms he’d never set foot in and people he didn’t know, surrounded by a life he hadn’t lived. But it wasn’t long before Jeongin landed on his feet, fully immersed in Jisung’s life.

_The blue light cleared to reveal what looked like a small music studio. The walls were painted a burnt orange, displaying a few albums and music posters hung everywhere. A black door led to a windowed recording room containing panelled walls and a microphone._

_On the other side of the room were a few desks all lined with various keyboards and computers. Jisung was hunched over them, engulfed by a large dance sweatshirt with the word ‘Lee’ printed on the back and a beanie pulled over unwashed hair. He had a pen stuck behind his ear and an earphone in the other, his dry eyes staring straight into his computer._

_He looked like he’d been in the studio for hours, had the dead eyes of someone who’d been working for too long and had forgotten how to function without it._

_Jisung didn’t even flinch when his phone vibrated with a few texts, just pushed his phone away with practiced ease, like he already knew who the messages would be from._

_Jeongin, knowing full-well Jisung couldn’t see him, walked over to the phone, tilting his head so he could read the messages._

_Sunshine <3: sungie, are you running late?_

_Sunshine <3: you said you’d come see me, remember?_

_Sunshine <3: i have my show tomorrow, you said you wanted to wish me luck <333 xxx_

_Jeongin couldn’t help but wince as he pulled back, grimacing at Jisung who looked completely indifferent to the fact that he was clearly missing something that was important to someone he loved._

_It was obvious Jisung worked hard, but Jeongin knew how dangerous that could be. How work could suddenly come first over the people around you and how Jisung had fallen into that trap, neglecting someone who needed him._

_It was a mistake that definitely didn’t deserve to land someone in hell, but it was a mistake all the same._

_Jeongin watched Jisung for a few more minutes before the blue light engulfed him again, practically suffocating Jeongin as it dragged him to another place. This time it was to a dorm room, containing cheap tatty furniture and a boy crying by the front door._

_“Sungie,” the boy said through his tears, opening the door to reveal a sheepish-looking Jisung on the other side, “What are you doing here?”_

_“I, um, I missed your show, didn’t I?” Jisung said, fiddling with a forlorn bouquet of flowers in his hands, “I’m so, so sorry.”_

_The other boy just let out a sob, turning his back on Jisung and letting Jeongin get a good look of his face. He was just a tiny bit taller than Jisung, with messy blond hair that had dark roots on his parting. His eyes were crescent-shaped and shiny, clearly beautiful when they weren’t gushing with tears._

_But the thing that caught Jeongin’s attention the most were the freckles dotted on his cheeks, the sign of a childlike character who loved strongly and had a sensitive heart._

_Jisung had hurt someone who looked so devastatingly beautiful when they broke._

_Jeongin could only watch as Jisung chased the boy through the door, calling the names ‘Felix’ and ‘Lix and ‘Lixie’ so many times that Jeongin lost count._

_But as Jisung finally managed to get Felix to sit down and they started to talk, the names soon changed into ‘sunshine’ and ‘angel’ and other equally sickening pet-names that Jeongin wasn’t ashamed to admit he was melting at._

_It took a long time and a whole heapload of apologies and promises, but soon Felix was throwing himself into Jisung’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder and begging Jisung not to let go. Jisung just pulled him tighter, pressing soft lips against Felix’s forehead and promising that he’d never, ever neglect Felix again._

_Jisung hadn’t lived long enough to keep that promise._

Jeongin was sucked back to the real world with what felt like a bucket of ice water thrown over him.

There were tears on his face, a million thoughts storming through his mind, realisation sinking like a stone in his stomach. He turned back to cast a glance at Jisung, just seeing a lost boy with wide eyes and puffy cheeks looking at Minho and Seungmin like he was desperate for their help.

The rest of Jisung’s file was so tiny, only two weeks after that encounter had Felix lost Jisung forever. Jeongin skimmed his thumb over the pages, seeing several more bouquets of flowers for Felix, a picnic date in a park, Jisung writing a song for Felix that he only half managed to finish…

If Jeongin’s heart still worked, it would have cracked right there.

He looked back down at the file, moving his thumb to its beginning before once more skimming over the pages.

Jeongin saw Jisung as a child, covered in paint and pressing his fingers all over a handmade card for his mother. He saw Jisung in school, sitting excited in music class and watching with glowing eyes as his teacher played the piano. He saw Jisung studying for exams, writing his own music on the side and just starting to figure out where he was going with his life.

Jeongin saw Jisung watching Felix through a window in the dance studio, trying to work up the courage to talk to him.

Jisung was a miracle of a boy, full of talent and wonder, with a family who loved him and a boyfriend who cherished him no matter what.

It hurt, to see him pulled away from it so early, especially since Jeongin had been through exactly the same thing himself. But Jeongin knew that was how life and death worked, how the universe kept on spinning, so he accepted it, resolving instead to help Jisung as much as he could.

Jeongin tucked the file back behind him, taking a second to compose himself before tuning back to the others. He walked over to the bench, settling on its arm silently.

He shared a look with Seungmin who seemed to know exactly what he’d been doing, giving him a reassuring nod and an encouraging smile. Jeongin smiled back, looking at Jisung who was still asking questions he’d probably already accepted weren’t going to be answered yet. 

“Jisung,” Minho eventually interrupted, his voice firmer this time, “Why do you keep asking us all these questions? You need to understand that the afterlife is a lot more than we can put into words. We told you that you’ll find out about it at the right time.”

Jisung paused, looking at Minho before his gaze dropped and he slumped against the bench behind him, “I just… don’t want to leave here yet. I want to stay here with people I can actually see.”

“Oh, Jisung,” Seungmin said, hesitating before leaning forward and placing a hand over Jisung’s, “We’re willing to wait here as long as you need.”

“Are you really?” Jisung said, looking so desperately hopeful as he met eyes with Seungmin, Jeongin watching as Seungmin visibly softened under the weight of his gaze.

“Of course, we are,” Jeongin took it upon himself to answer this time, “My reapers waited ages for me."

“He’s only been doing this job a day and he’s already an expert,” Minho winked at Jeongin, turning to smile at Jisung, “But he’s right. You don’t need to create excuses to stay here, we’re happy to wait.”

“Just out of curiosity,” Jeongin said, knowing what had been going through his own mind when he was reaped, “Is there anything in particular you are waiting for?”

Jisung’s eyes widened at that, surprise shining on his face before it changed to amusement, “You’re really smart, you know that?”

“I just remember when I was in your position,” Jeongin shrugged, “I made my reapers wait hours so I could see my mum arrive home from work one last time.”

“That’s kinda cute,” Seungmin said, leaning over to nudge Jisung, “What are you waiting for?”

Jisung opened his mouth to answer, a sad but somewhat hopeful look in his eyes. But then he seemed to spot something, his whole body turning to the side and his finger reaching up to point, “I was waiting for him.”

Jeongin whipped round so hard he almost gave himself whiplash, feeling Minho and Seungmin do the same from next to him. His gaze darted around for a few seconds, trying to find what he was looking for before they landed on a figure walking slowly towards Jisung’s grave, Jeongin’s mouth opening in realisation.

It was Felix.

He looked a lot different to the person Jeongin had seen in Jisung’s memories. That Felix had been sad, but this Felix looked simply _heartbroken._

His roots had grown out even more, leaving hair that was darker than anything else. There were deep circles under his eyes and his entire face just looked so empty. He looked like he had nothing left to live for, nothing left to make him happy in a world without his boyfriend.

Jeongin had seen that look on too many faces. It made him want to cry.

It was the face of someone who was struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, struggling to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, struggling to even breathe in a world that seemed to have stolen all the oxygen.

The four of them could only watch as Felix stopped in front of Jisung’s grave, looking down on it for a few moments before settling cross-legged on the floor. He propped his chin up on his elbow, eyes glazing over as they continued to stare in the stone statue that was the closest he could get to Jisung.

“He’s come here every day since the funeral,” Jisung’s voice broke through the silence, carrying so much guilt Jeongin couldn’t stop himself from placing a hand on his shoulder, “Some days he just stares like that. Some days he cries. Some days he talks to me, tells me about his day and stuff. Those days are my favourite.”

“Oh, Jisung,” Minho spoke quietly, letting Jisung clutch his hand as they both looked fondly at Felix, “He must miss you so much.”

“I miss him too,” Jisung said, without a single moment of hesitation, “I’m just scared that… scared that one day he won’t come here, and I won’t get to see him again. But I’m also scared that he’ll keep coming here every day and he won’t move on and learn to be happy again. I just want to see him happy, even if he has to let me go.”

“I know it’s hard, but Felix just needs time,” Seungmin said, “He’s suffered a huge loss and he’s probably still trying to figure out how to cope with it. In the meantime, he’s got your grave to come to so he can still be close to you.”

“He’ll move on when he’s ready,” Minho carried on, still looking at Jisung, “But he needs time to mourn first.”

Jisung looked like he wanted to take a deep breath, still struggling with the fact he no longer needed oxygen. Instead, he ducked his gaze, biting at his bottom lip for a few seconds before he spoke again.

“I know,” he said, “And I’ll always understand that Felix needs time. But how the hell I am supposed to leave him like this? How can I go with you now and not know how long Felix is going to be sad for? I can’t leave knowing he could be stuck like this for a really long time.”

“But you need to move on too, Jisung,” Jeongin said, staring straight into Jisung’s face when he turned to him, “It would help both you and Felix so much if you were in a better place. How do you think he’d feel knowing you were stuck on earth doing nothing but waiting for him every day?”

“There’s no way for him to know,” Jisung said quietly, “What does it matter?”

“The people who love us always know,” Jeongin said, not doubting his words for even a moment as he felt everyone’s gaze on him, “You’ll see him again one day. But in the meantime, don’t you think it’d be better for both of you if you allowed yourself the peace you want so badly for him?”

Jisung seemed to deflate at those words, his whole body crumbling back onto the bench. He stared once more at Felix, a million thoughts echoing over his face before he nodded.

“I guess you’re right,” he said, his voice resigned, “It’s just… hard.”

“We know,” Minho said, squeezing the hand he still had holding Jisung’s, “But that’s what we’re here for, we want this to be as comfortable for you as possible.”

Jisung smiled at that, looking at Minho through his bangs, “Thank you. It’s only just occurring to me that you’re the first people I’ve spoken to in literal weeks. Thanks for being so accommodating.”

“Just doing our job,” Seungmin squeezed Jisung on the shoulder, “Now are you ready to go? Or do you want to stay a bit longer?”

“Can we just stay until Felix leaves?” Jisung said, a shy smile gracing his lips when Seungmin nodded, “I know he’s sad, but he still looks so beautiful when he’s sat there.”

Minho hummed, “He is very attractive,” he said, “He needs to fix his roots, though.”

“I’m always reminding him to do that,” Jisung giggled a little, his face glazing over in past memories, “He suits any hair colour though. My favourite was his red. He says his favourite for me was blue.”

“You guys must have looked like traffic lights,” Seungmin said, a snort leaving Jeongin’s lips that he couldn’t hold back. He gave Jisung an apologetic looked when he turned to glare at him.

“We weren’t blue and red at the same time,” Jisung said with a roll of his eyes, “I’m pretty sure Felix had pink hair, or maybe even a darker blond at the time.”

“I can picture both of those suiting him,” Jeongin said, “Maybe it’s time for dark hair for him, though? A fresh start.”

“Yeah,” Jisung said thoughtfully, “Maybe it is.”

The rest of the time was spent watching Felix in silence, Jeongin enjoying watching the birds and the trees whilst Jisung’s eyes never left Felix.

They all waited respectfully as Felix stayed by Jisung’s grave, sitting for an hour before he reached out to rub small fingers over the lettering, scrubbing out all the dirt. He stared at the name for what felt like longer than a few moments, seeming to try and imprint it into his mind before he stood up and Jisung watched him walk away.

Jeongin was silent as Jisung waited for Felix to disappear from sight.

The last time Jisung would see his boyfriend for a really long time.

Jisung’s shoulders tensed, his lips pursed as he turned to the three reapers, “I think… I think I’m ready.”

“That’s excellent news, Jisung,” Minho said, nodding as he stood up, gesturing at Seungmin and Jeongin to do the same, “We’re going to start by taking you to a place called the Sanctuary. You’ll be safe there.”

Jisung nodded, trusting them blindly as Minho pulled him to a stand. He fiddled with his fingers, shuffling from foot to foot whilst he waited for what would happen next.

Seungmin turned to Jeongin, “You’re going to help us get there.”

Jeongin blinked, “Um, sure. How do we get to the Sanctuary exactly? I’ve only made the journey once and I wasn’t exactly in control.”

“That’s okay,” Seungmin said, “Just look at the three of us, keep us all in your mind. Then picture the Sanctuary, picture its large gates, the clouds that surround it, the whole location it takes up.”

“Picture it as well as you can,” Jeongin heard Minho say past all the images he was conjuring in his mind, “But don’t forget about us. You need to take us with you.”

Jeongin barely managed a nod, too busy filling his mind to the brim with images of the Sanctuary. He pictured its entrance, the tall pearly gates that were undoubtedly the most beautiful Jeongin had ever seen. The equally as beautiful guard that was usually placed outside. The huge sky that surrounded it, littered with some of the biggest and boldest clouds in the world.

The blue light started to surround Jeongin, pulling him upwards with gentle tugs at his skin.

That was when Jeongin remembered the others, picturing Jisung’s thoughtful face, Minho’s glistening smirk, Seungmin’s inquisitive eyes.

He felt them tug to his sides, all of them stumbling as the blue light lifted them. They were carried up, up, up, Jeongin forcing himself to keep the Sanctuary in his mind as he was twirled around like a ballerina.

They landed none-too-gently, almost face-planting as they hit the clouds. Jeongin had a feeling that the faulty landing may have slightly been his fault.

He was still getting his bearings when he heard a soft ‘wow’ muttered from beside him, looking up to see Jisung staring forwards with something sparkly reflected in his eyes.

Jeongin smiled, knowing he must have had the same dopey look on his face when he saw the Sanctuary for the first time.

The entrance to the Sanctuary was truly magnificent. It was made up of a tall gate, taller than the eye could see that stretched upwards into the clouds. Its bars were a glowing silver, decorated with pearls and gems that twinkled perfectly in the light.

The latch that opened the gate was dead-centre, too high for anyone to reach but still used all the same. It was an elegant white, curled into a spiral at the edges with a pair of angel wings embroidered onto the front.

Just looking at it was enough to give Jeongin chills. There was just something about it that felt so welcoming, so calm, so safe for all to enter. It was beautiful, well-maintained and open for every soul. It truly felt like a paradise.

“Woah,” Jisung said, eyes raking all over it as he took a step forward, “Are we in heaven?”

“It’s not quite heaven,” Seungmin said, taking his own step so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with Jisung, a smile teasing at his lips, “But it’s pretty damn close.”

“Han Jisung,” Minho said, standing up straight as he joined them, staring at the gates with a knowing glint in his eye, “Welcome to the Sanctuary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo what did we think??
> 
> ik i said all of skz are technically dead in this story but, surprise, one of them is still alive. it'll be helpful for jeongin's reaper-training later i promise ;))
> 
> (i also know we haven't met all the members yet, but i promise they're coming!! they also have very important roles and i want to give them to time they deserve to be properly introduced)
> 
> thank you so much for reading, please take care <3


	5. A Moment in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongin didn’t know why he was being so dramatic. He’d already died once, surely speaking to his potential soulmate for the first time couldn’t be that bad, right?
> 
> Wrong.

The gates of the Sanctuary only seemed to loom higher as they got closer.

The clouds were light under their feet, Jeongin still not used to stepping over them as they walked. He was still half-expecting to fall through them at any moment, too used to all the lessons he’d had drilled into him as a child about thinking realistically about the world.

If only Jeongin had known that half those lessons would turn out to be wrong.

Jisung seemed to be having a similar epiphany, if the way he was at least a few feet behind them all was anything to go by. There was a look of absolute awestruck on his face, his hands bunching into fists every time he lifted a foot up and placed it tentatively on the cloud before him.

Jeongin smiled. It was cute.

“The new souls always look adorable like that, don’t they?” Seungmin’s voice pulled Jeongin’s attention to him, a dopey smile on his own face as they both watched Jisung.

“Not as adorable as you, my love,” Minho cooed, his cheeks puffed teasingly as he reached over to boop Seungmin’s nose, ignoring Seungmin’s slap at his wrist and huff of annoyance in response.

“You’re like a little kitten who follows me around everywhere,” Seungmin grumbled, still trying to dodge Minho’s attempts at squeezing his cheeks, “You’d think I’d actually be rewarded for all the reaping I’ve done. But, no, I’m still stuck with this menace.”

“As if you could do this without me,” Minho drawled, his smirk victorious when Seungmin just rolled his eyes and didn’t respond.

Jeongin’s gaze flicked between them, knowing full-well that Minho was right. Minho and Seungmin wouldn’t be able to survive without each other, and they were literally in the only place where survival wasn’t necessary.

It once again brought Jeongin’s mind to the idea of soulmates. The fact that two people could meet and fall in love even in the afterlife seemed pretty real to Jeongin. The fact that special bonds could form even in death, the idea that two people couldn’t live without each other when they weren’t even living, that sounded a lot like soulmates.

It couldn’t have been a coincidence that Minho and Seungmin were paired together for reaping. They worked so well together, seemed to enjoy the other’s company and they kept one another on their toes, never a dull moment between them. The universe must have wanted them to be together.

And then there was Jisung and Felix.

If Jeongin had ever seen two people in love, it was clearly those two. They could not have been more obviously infatuated with each other.

Felix loved Jisung no matter what mistakes he made. And Jisung loved Felix even when there was no physical way to be with him anymore. Their bond had already transcended realms and Jeongin had a feeling it was always going to be strong no matter what.

Maybe they could be together forever one day.

The thought made Jeongin smile as Jisung finally caught up to them, a sheepish blush coating his cheeks. Minho just cooed and ruffled his hair, gesturing him to follow the rest of the distance to the gate.

The closer and closer they got, the more Jeongin became aware of another presence nearby. He was about to question what it was when the bottom of the gates finally came into sight and Jeongin spotted a guard waiting for them, leant against the bars and gaze raking over the small ragtag group wanting to enter the Sanctuary.

“Changbin-hyung,” Seungmin said once they were close enough, giving a bow and a smile to the guard who was smirking at them, “Good to see you again.”

“And you, Minnie and Min-hyung,” Changbin nodded back, his eyes flickering over to Jeongin and Jisung, who was not-so-subtly hiding behind Jeongin, “I see we’ve got some newbies today.”

“Ah yes, this is Yang Jeongin, a new reaper that we’re training,” Minho said, gesturing at Jeongin before he grabbed Jisung’s shoulder and pulled him out from behind Jeongin and into sight, “And this is Han Jisung, a new soul.”

Changbin smiled at them, eyes sliding over to Jeongin. Jeongin couldn’t help but gasp when he met gazes with him; Changbin’s eyes were unlike anything he had ever seen.

Changbin had one red eye and one jet-black eye. However, the jet-black one was different. It wasn’t the usual void-like orb that Minho had on his face. This jet-black had something swirling within it, something bright, something all-knowing.

It looked like tiny purple specks, the same purple that Chan had swirling in one of his eyes. Jeongin’s brows furrowed, _why the hell would a guard like Changbin have an eye like Chan’s?_

The rest of Changbin looked like a typical Sanctuary guard. He had dark hair that covered most his forehead, black runes around his eyes that made his gaze look piercing, and simple black and red armour that covered his muscled frame.

He was also holding a long, black spear, the blade at the top decorated with all sorts of black and red gems, all fizzling with magic that Changbin had complete control over. He could harm anyone that may threaten the Sanctuary and fix any damage that may come to the gate.

If they were still in the living human-world, where religion and imagination ran wild, Changbin probably would have been seen as a demon. His dark aura making him seem unnerving to the human eye. But there was nothing evil about Changbin; he was just a protector, a guard who wielded dark magic that he used for good.

Changbin may have looked threatening, but there was no room for evil in the afterlife. He was the one who fought against it.

“So, Jeongin-ah,” Changbin spoke up after a while, seeming to grow tired of Jeongin blatantly staring at him, “Tell me, what is it like being trained by Tom and Jerry over here?”

With that, he flicked his wrist towards Minho and Seungmin, ignoring the way they both scoffed at the words.

“It’s alright,” Jeongin grinned, “It’s pretty entertaining to be honest, even if I feel like I’m learning more about them than actual reaping half the time.”

Changbin laughed at that, pointing at where Minho and Seungmin’s mouths had both opened in mock-offence, “I can totally picture that,” Changbin said through his cackles, “I never thought I’d see the day these two started training. They’ve been causing so much mischief for decades, I thought Channie-hyung would never trust them enough.”

Minho opened his mouth to respond, no doubt about to say something snarky that would make Seungmin elbow him in the stomach. But Jeongin beat him to it, too fascinated by the way Changbin’s eyes sparkled when he laughed not to say something.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard this before,” Jeongin’s voice was full of wonder, his eyes looking straight into Changbin’s, “But your eye looks a lot like Chan-hyung’s.”

Changbin stopped laughing at that, a silence blanketing over them all. But the amused look still stayed on his face, joined by something knowing that Jeongin couldn’t quite decipher. Changbin almost looked… proud?

“Okay, forget everything we’ve told you before,” Seungmin said, practically demanding Jeongin’s attention as he pointed a finger in his face, “Rule 1 of navigating the afterlife: never _ever_ bring up Chan-hyung in front of Changbin-hyung, or vice versa. They will literally never stop speaking about each other.”

Jeongin felt his mouth drop open, his gaze whipping to Changbin questioningly, “What does he mean? Why wouldn’t you stop talking about Chan-hyung?”

“We’re kinda together,” Changbin shrugged, breaking out into a grin when Jeongin gasped, “We’ve been together a few centuries now, apparently that makes us ‘gross and whipped and unbearable’ to everyone around us.”

“Oh, it really does,” Minho mumbled, Jeongin ignoring him as he started to bounce on his feet.

“Oh my god, that’s so cute!” Jeongin couldn’t stop the warmth from spreading through him, “A god and a guard together? That’s so romantic! Are you guys soulmates?”

Changbin tilted his head inquisitively at that, keeping a neutral look on his face even when everyone turned to look at Jeongin, letting the words hang in the air for a few moments before he answered.

“What is it with you and soulmates?” Changbin said, “Channie-hyung said you also brought them up during your meeting with him.”

“Yeah, but that was when I was talking about those two,” Jeongin jerked a thumb at Minho and Seungmin, talking over the way they both seemed to choke at the implication of what he’d said, “I just like the idea of them, I guess. On earth, I had no idea there was life after death, so I thought soulmates were pointless. But now that I know about the afterlife and stuff, the idea of soulmates seems so much more plausible.”

“Wait,” it was Jisung who talked this time, all eyes turning to him as he blushed, “D-Do soulmates really exist?”

“We have no idea,” Minho answered with a shrug, “Even Chan-hyung, Changbin’s boyfriend, the all-knowing leader of the afterlife, doesn’t know that.”

“It’s kinda the biggest mystery we have here,” Changbin carried on, “Having an all-knowing boyfriend has its perks because the universe practically tells him everything, but it has to leave some stuff for us to figure out ourselves, I guess.”

“That’s…” Jisung’s eyebrows were raised, his eyes glazed over, “That’s just… wow.”

“Yeah, it took us some time to wrap our heads around it too,” Seungmin said, “But if there’s anyone that are soulmates, trust me when I say it’s Changbin-hyung and Chan-hyung, they’re literally whipped for each other.”

“And these two,” Changbin gestured at Minho and Seungmin, barely reacting to the idea of him and Chan being soulmates, clearly this was a discussion he’d had before, “You’ll never see one of them without the other.”

“That is not true!” Seungmin practically exclaimed, Jeongin unable to hold back a giggle at the offended look on his face, “Why does everyone think Minho-hyung and I couldn’t be without each other? It’s not my fault he follows me around everywhere!”

“Yeah,” Minho pouted, “I’d literally rather be partnered with an undead toaster than with him!”

“No offence,” Jisung cut in, “But I’ve known you both for like an hour and even I know that’s not true.”

Both Changbin and Jeongin burst out laughing at that, Jisung grinning proudly to himself whilst Minho and Seungmin just rolled their eyes.

“Whatever,” Seungmin muttered, “Let’s just go into the Sanctuary. We’re supposed to be showing Jisung around, not traumatising him with gossip.”

“You can do both,” Changbin shrugged, snorting again when Minho gave him a glare, “Okay, okay, I’ll let you in.”

Minho gave him a sarcastic ‘thank you’, folding his arms as Changbin lifted his spear. He pointed it towards the latch of the gate, far too high for Changbin to reach (especially since he was an inch shorter than everyone else, much to Jeongin’s amusement) but it was still reachable for his magic.

Changbin tilted the spear ever so slightly, his red eye flashing for a second as the gate unlocked with a short _click_ and the doors creaked as they started to open.

Jisung stumbled back, Jeongin reaching out an arm to catch him. The gates made a mighty noise, the doors practically cutting through clouds as they opened. If Jeongin had still been alive when he’d first watched this, he probably would have had a heart attack. So, he understood Jisung’s surprise.

It only took a few more seconds before the gates to be fully open and Changbin turned back to them all with a nod.

“Enjoy the afterlife, Jisung,” he said with a reassuring smile, “And good luck with the reaping, Jeongin. I trust I’ll be seeing you a lot more outside these gates.”

Jeongin smiled back, “If all goes to plan.”

“It will,” Changbin tilted his head, leaning down into a bow, “Now go on with your journey. Don’t be afraid to come to me if you need anything. All of you.”

“We will, hyung,” Seungmin bowed back, “Thank you.”

Changbin just waved them off with another gentle smile, his spear held firmly beside him and his stance strong as he watched them go. Jeongin couldn’t help but admire him, still in awe of all the inner-workings of the afterlife, of all the intricacies and little hard-working cogs that kept the whole place turning.

They walked through the gates with their heads held high, Jisung’s neck turning every which way as they walked the path in front of them. It was a path of golden brick, floating seamlessly in the sky with a bright gold sky surrounding them, painted with various stars and constellations that made all their skin glow like they were getting a tan on a hot summer’s day.

It was only when they’d walked for a little bit that Jisung was able to finally stop looking at everything, his hand hesitantly finding its way around Jeongin’s wrist as he tried to get his attention.

Jeongin turned to him, “What is it, Jisung-hyung?”

Jisung bit at his lip, his eyes staring hesitantly into Jeongin’s before he spoke, “You were the one who was curious about soulmates, right?”

Jeongin nodded, unsure where Jisung was going with the conversation.

“Do you really think they exist?” Jisung said, voice quiet like a shy child trying to whisper to their parents, “Do you think that… that Felix and I could be soulmates?”

Something started to blossom in Jeongin’s chests at the words, his lips pulling up in endearment and a warm fuzzy feeling hugging at his skin.

“I can’t answer that for sure, hyung,” Jeongin said, squeezing Jisung’s hand, “But you and Felix look at each other like Minho-hyung and Seungmin-hyung do. You talk about each other like Chan-hyung and Changbin-hyung do. The way I see it, if those guys are all soulmates, then you and Felix must be too.”

There were no words to describe the smile that appeared on Jisung’s face in that moment, his cheeks puffing out to the sides and his gums appearing and his eyes folding into little crescents. Jeongin actively had to hold back a coo, instead settling for clutching his chest with one hand and squeezing and shaking Jisung’s hand with the other.

“Oh my god, you’re so cute!” Jeongin said, “It must feel so good to know someone who could be your soulmate. What does it feel like?”

“Oh wow, I don’t know if I could explain that well enough,” Jisung paused in his smiling to ponder the question, still staring at Jeongin as they walked hand-in-hand behind Minho and Seungmin, “I guess it just… feels right. You know you could be doing the most boring thing ever with your soulmate, but still not rather by anywhere else in the world. You could wake up next to the same face every day and only get happier seeing it. You could just sit there and stare at them forever, their mere presence enough to make your heart feel like its beating, even in death.”

Jeongin felt the words pounding into his chest, beating against his stomach like butterflies. He could see the way Jisung’s eyes were shimmering with all the happiness that Felix had given him, the way Jisung meant every single world he was saying and could say a million more.

“It’s like,” Jisung carried on, “It’s like you could look into your soulmate’s eyes and you would just know, with just that one single look, that everything was going to be okay.”

Jeongin gasped. He wanted that _. He wanted that so bad._

But it was before Jisung could say more that loud footsteps rang out from in front of them, the sound of high heels hitting the floor coming towards them and startling them both. Jisung and Jeongin looked up, Jeongin feeling his phantom heart drop to the floor as he met a pair of shimmering gold eyes.

Minho and Seungmin had parted, revealing a figure walking down the path towards them, smiling softly as they came closer.

Jeongin felt his world tilt.

The figure was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous in every single way possible, and Jeongin swore he could feel his dead heart beating again in his chest. He swore he could feel blood soaring through his veins and life tingling under his skin as the figure’s gaze landed on him.

Jeongin stared at them, looking straight into their eyes and, somehow, in that moment he knew, he just _knew_ , that everything was going to be okay.

_Oh god_.

Jeongin almost stopped walking, his hand squeezing Jisung’s so hard he must have been hurting him, but Jisung didn’t complain, also seemingly enthralled by the figure’s beauty.

However, it was only a matter of seconds before Jisung was turning back to Jeongin, a knowing look appearing on his face that Jeongin could just about see at the corner of his vision.

But Jeongin didn’t pay it any attention, not when the most beautiful soul he’d ever seen was coming to a stop in front of them.

“Hello everyone,” the figure spoke, his voice carrying like a bell and a tender smile playing over his lips, “Welcome to the Sanctuary.”

“Hello, Hyunjin,” Seungmin said before Jeongin could even think about getting his head to stop spinning, “Didn’t realise you’d be greeting us today.”

“I was free,” ‘Hyunjin’ shrugged, Jeongin unable to keep his eyes off him, almost flinching when he turned to look straight at him and Jisung, “I’m guessing this is our new reaper and our new soul?”

“Y-Yes, that’s right,” Jisung took a step forward, bowing shyly, “I’m Jisung, I died a few weeks ago.”

“Welcome, Jisung,” Hyunjin smiled a smile so beautiful that Jeongin swore he was about to collapse, “I work here in the Sanctuary, my job is to take care of all the new souls that arrive here and make sure you all stay safe and nurtured. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

That was when it finally clicked in Jeongin’s mind. Hyunjin was a nurturer.

Nurturers were, as Hyunjin had said, the carers of the souls still in the Sanctuary. They parented the souls and helped them recover from their deaths, giving them space when they needed time to process, an ear for listening if a soul ever needed to talk and a shoulder for souls to pretend to cry on if situation ever called for it.

Hyunjin was clearly an advanced nurturer, his eyes a glowing gold that shimmered just as bright as the skies around him. He had a small mole under one of them, shining on his face like a little star that could be seen even in the day time.

Hyunjin’s whole outfit reflected the day. He had on a white t-shirt with loose white trousers and a soft cardigan hanging off his frame and floating down to his knees. His shoes were small ankle boots, decorated with gold gems that fizzled like sunshine.

His long blond hair was tied into a loose ponytail behind his head, various hairclips and headpieces keeping it in place, glistening with the make-up resting softly over his eyes.

Jeongin could barely look away from him.

If humans called Changbin a demon, then Hyunjin definitely would have been an angel. He may as well have had a pair of feathery white wings strapped to his back.

Changbin was the guard and the protector of the afterlife, and Hyunjin was the carer and the nurturer. Both of them equally beautiful and equally important, but performing the roles that were best for them.

Jeongin didn’t know if there were any rules against involvement between reapers and nurturers. But he had a feeling that if such rules existed, he was about to break them.

“Hey,” Hyunjin’s angelic voice cut cleanly through Jeongin’s thoughts, his eyes shooting upwards and his whole body nearly jolting when he realised Hyunjin was staring straight at him, “I’m Hyunjin. I don’t think we’ve ever met before.”

“No, we haven’t,” Jeongin managed to shake his head, “I-I’m Jeongin, the new reaper. It’s great to meet you.”

“And you,” Hyunjin said, his eyes seeming to glow extra brightly as he stared at Jeongin, “I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, if you’re reaping goes well.”

“Yeah, I’m sure we will,” Jeongin bobbed his head like a child, “That’d be nice.”

“It would,” Hyunjin responded, the air seeming to freeze for a second as they looked at each other.

It was like the others weren’t there, like they weren’t in the afterlife anymore, like it was just the two of them under a golden sky. Jeongin’s fingers itched with the need to grab Hyunjin’s hand, his skin tingling with the desire for touch.

And Hyunjin seemed to be feeling the same, his gaze never left Jeongin’s, searching every inch of his face and looking almost awestruck by him. Jeongin couldn’t help but blush, wondering how he could ever look beautiful in someone like Hyunjin’s eyes.

Maybe, Hyunjin was looking at Jeongin in the same wonderful light Jeongin was looking at him. Maybe Hyunjin, too, suddenly felt like everything was going to be okay.

_Soulmates_.

The word was a whisper at the back of Jeongin’s mind, almost startling him so much he jumped. There was a large part of Jeongin telling himself to push it down, to not let himself get his hopes up for something so big, to ignore it before he got hurt.

But the other part of Jeongin, the tiny, impulsive, curious part of him that seemed to wield too much power, wanted to explore further. He wanted to get to know Hyunjin, to stare even longer into his eyes, to know what it was like when it was just him and Hyunjin alone,

But it wasn’t just him and Hyunjin alone.

The moment between them was suddenly cut off by Seungmin making a point of very loudly clearing his throat, his eyes darting suspiciously between them. Minho was across from him, a smirk plastered all over his face.

“As much as we would love to stand here and watch you two stare at each other,” Seungmin said pointedly, Jeongin almost exploding at the way Hyunjin blushed at the words, “I think we should be getting Jisung to the Sanctuary.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Jisung said, shoving Jeongin teasingly in the side, “I’m happy to watch this drama play out.”

“Yeah, Seungmin,” Minho joined in, eyebrows raised in mischief, “Let the lovebirds have their moment.”

Hyunjin only blushed darker at that and Jeongin had a sneaking suspicion that there was a familiar red coating his own cheeks. But he couldn’t hate it, not when Hyunjin looked simply adorable.

“No, it’s okay,” Hyunjin eventually managed to say, only hitching on his words a little, “We should carry on. Jisung, please follow me, this is where you’ll be staying as long as you need.”

Jisung nodded as he walked up to Hyunjin, letting Hyunjin gesture him forward. The two walked together, Jisung starting to ask questions about where he’d be saying, whilst Hyunjin kept sneaking glances behind him at Jeongin.

The glances sent Jeongin into a panic, his whole body flinching when Minho and Seungmin were suddenly at both of his sides, linking their arms with his.

“Don’t say a word,” Jeongin said before either of them could even think about teasing him, “This is a professional situation.”

Minho snorted so hard he practically choked, “Professional!”

Jeongin elbowed him in the side, “I’m serious!”

“We know you are, Jeongin,” Seungmin said, patting him sympathetically on the shoulder, “I’m just pretty sure all your soulmate-talk and is about to become focused on a very particular target, don’t you?”

If Minho and Seungmin hadn’t been keeping both his arms hostage, Jeongin would have buried his face in his hands in that moment. Instead, he just groaned loudly at their words, silently praying that Hyunjin wouldn’t feel all three of their pairs of eyes boring into his back.

“You really do like the pretty ones, Jeongin,” Seungmin said, shaking his head when Jeongin let out a drawn-out whine, “I don’t blame you. Hyunjin really is stunning.”

“Hey!” Minho piped up from next to them, a large pout on his lips, “If Jeongin really loved the pretty ones, he would have already fallen for me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, love,” Seungmin grinned, “You’re drop-dead gorgeous, but you don’t have that angelic, innocent vibe that Hyunjin has going on. I’m pretty sure that’s what Jeongin has fallen for.”

“I haven’t _fallen for_ anything!” Jeongin exclaimed, practically stomping his feet as they walked, “We only just met!”

“Just wait until you have a conversation with him one-on-one,” Minho said, “I’ll be surprised if you don’t fall at his feet.”

Jeongin would have slapped Minho right there if he wasn’t completely right.

Jeongin was almost tempted to slap Minho anyway, but Seungmin seemed to have caught onto Jeongin’s thoughts, because he was holding onto Jeongin’s arm extra tight a second later. Jeongin had a feeling that Seungmin was the only one allowed to slap Minho.

All Jeongin could do was hope that he didn’t somehow get roped into a one-on-one conversation with Hyunjin like Minho had said. He didn’t know if his soul could take that yet.

Jeongin should have known the universe wasn’t going to be on his side.

Soulmates were supposed to be drawn together after all.

It was when Hyunjin led them all into the main Sanctuary area, a large open field with areas for souls to sit together and interact, that Hyunjin seemed to seize his opportunity.

He gestured at Jisung to walk forward to explore, nodding at Minho and Seungmin to accompany him. The two reapers detached themselves from Jeongin with identical winks, both looking so smug that Jeongin could only fear the impending doom that was awaiting him.

Jeongin didn’t know why he was being so dramatic. He’d already died once, surely speaking to his potential soulmate for the first time couldn’t be that bad, right?

_Wrong._

It was when Hyunjin was standing barely a foot away, staring down at Jeongin with a shy smile on his face that Jeongin really just how beautiful Hyunjin really was.

_Jeongin was so screwed._

“Um, hi,” Hyunjin said after a few seconds of awkward silence, gesturing behind him at the others, “Sorry to keep you from everyone else. I just kinda feel like something happened between us back there.”

“Yeah, it definitely did,” Jeongin managed to say, feeling himself soften at the way Hyunjin’s tentative smile shifted to relief “I’m glad you think so. I thought I was going crazy.”

“Well, if you are, then I am too,” Hyunjin said, his face brightening as he spoke, “It really is nice to meet you. I hope we can maybe get to know each other soon?”

“Yeah that’d be really great,” Jeongin said, “I think… I think it’s definitely best if we talk a bit more.”

“Of course,” Hyunjin nodded, “Just not now. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that would be inappropriate for Jisung. Great job on helping to get him here, though. Reaping a soul for the first time must be really hard.”

“It was actually easier than I thought it would be,” Jeongin admitted, smiling when Hyunjin’s eyes sparkled in what looked like genuine interest, “The emotional side was tough, and I felt a little wrong looking into Jisung’s file, but it all went a lot smoother than I was expecting.”

“Well, that’s a good start,” Hyunjin grinned, “Congratulations, Jeongin! You’re a natural!”

“Ah, not quite,” Jeongin said, waving a hand in front of his face when Hyunjin tsked and shook his head, “It’s only my first day, I don’t want to get too ahead of myself.”

“Okay, I guess that’s fair, but let me just tell you this,” Hyunjin said, carefully wrapping his fingers around the hand Jeongin had been using to cover himself, “I’ve been working here at the Sanctuary a century now. I’ve seen a lot of first-time reapers, some of them almost as scared as the new souls they bring in. I know it may not seem like it, but you’re doing a really good job, Jeongin.”

Something fluttered in Jeongin’s chest at those words, his gaze dropping as he couldn’t help but let a proud look come over his face, “Thank you so much, hyung,” he said, “That really means a lot. Y-you must be really comforting to all the new reapers that come in.”

“I try my best,” Hyunjin said, giving Jeongin’s hand a small squeeze, “Just like I do with the souls. But, I’ll be honest here, I’ve never felt quite so inclined to comfort someone as I have with you.”

Jeongin could have sworn he almost collapsed then, convinced he was going to do exactly what Minho said and fall at Hyunjin’s feet. But, thankfully, he managed to keep his composure, gathering up the courage to squeeze Hyunjin’s hand back.

“Thank you so much, Hyunjin-hyung,” Jeongin said, feeling brave enough to look straight up into Hyunjin’s eyes, “I think we’re going to have a very bright future.”

“I think so too,” Hyunjin smiled, letting the moment hang between them for a few moments before he took a cautious step back, “Now I really hate to do this, but I have to get back to Jisung. I’m really not supposed to leave him at all during this bit.”

Jeongin giggled, somehow liking that Hyunjin had gone against his job for him, “That’s okay. I’ll, um, I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin nodded, bowing as he took another step away, “You definitely will.”

With that, Jeongin bowed back, sharing another smile with Hyunjin before he watched him walk away. Hyunjin walked with such grace, his cardigan flowing out behind him and his heels softly hitting the floor, making him really look like an angel as he approached Jisung with a tender look on his face.

Jeongin continued to stare at him, trying to commit all of him to memory before Minho and Seungmin were once more at Jeongin’s sides. They followed his line of sight to Hyunjin, smirking as they realised what he was looking at.

“So, Jeongin,” Minho said after a while, “If I told you that we’re going to have to come back here to see Jisung at some point, and that we’re almost definitely going bump into Hyunjin when we do. You’d be happy, right?”

“You know what, hyung?” Jeongin grinned to himself, watching the way Hyunjin’s eyes caught the sunlight, “I like the idea of that very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i actually had a lot of fun with this chapter xx
> 
> soooo we've thrown a demon and an angel into the mix and we've finally met all the group!! dw we will actually get some chan/changbin couple interactions later bc i couldn't resist the irony of a god being boyfriends with what is basically a demon lol
> 
> and angel hyunjin!!! can you blame me? jeongin is whipped for hyunjin and so am i 
> 
> once again, thank you for reading. i hope this chapter was okay, i know it was quite long. please have a good day and remember that you are loved <3


	6. Make up for Lost Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wasn’t either,” Hyunjin laughed, “What a silly twist of fate, huh?”
> 
> “Yeah,” Jeongin dusted himself off for a few seconds, a moment of silence passing before he looked back up at Hyunjin and met his eyes in a way that seemed to make time freeze, “I guess it was fate.”

There was no real way of tracking time in the afterlife, but Jeongin guessed it had been a good while since he and Hyunjin had met for the first time at the Sanctuary.

Jeongin understood why they hadn’t been able to see each other. Minho and Seungmin had warned him not to go back yet; they hadn’t quite fully reaped Jisung and they needed to give him time to settle before they continued the process. Jeongin understood that, but he couldn’t deny how much he’d missed Hyunjin’s gorgeous eyes, how desperate he was to go back and talk to him more.

But Jeongin knew it wasn’t time. So, instead, he occupied himself with learning more about reaping. He was back in the office space with Minho and Seungmin, his own desk seeming to have mysteriously materialised at some point.

Seungmin had dumped a load of files on him, telling Jeongin they were people who had moved on long ago, but that Jeongin should immerse himself in their lives and think about how he would reap them if he was given the chance. Seungmin said it would get him thinking, allow his brain to process the different ways in which people had died and the interchanging ways they’d led their lives. It would help Jeongin become fully introduced back to humanity.

Jeongin couldn’t deny that it was an extremely interesting way to pass the time, and there was a part of him that almost wished they could carry on reaping Jisung, because then they could move onto someone else and Jeongin would get even more experience with even newer people.

However, Jeongin had to make sure to not get too ahead of himself; reaping was a slow, patient and intricate process and he needed to come to terms with that.

So, he familiarised himself with everything that Minho and Seungmin told him, letting the time pass slowly around them as they waited to visit Jisung again.

It was around when Jeongin was going through his 5th file that Minho placed another one on his desk, giving Jeongin a meaningful look that had him grabbing it without a second thought.

It was only a few words in that Jeongin realised exactly what he was reading.

“Hyung,” Jeongin looked up to meet Minho’s eyes, “Is this Felix’s file?”

“It is,” Minho nodded solemnly, seeming to prepare himself for something before he carried on speaking, “Jeongin, you’re a fast learner, and Seungmin and I think that when you go and visit Jisung later, you should go alone. We think you’re perfectly capable of judging whether he’s settled in well and it’ll be great experience for you.”

“Wait, hyung, you can’t be serious!” Jeongin was quick to shake his head, practically jolting up in his chair, “I’m barely even a trainee reaper yet, I can’t handle this alone!”

“Yes, you can,” Minho said without even a slither of hesitation, “All you have to do is talk to him, ask him if he’s doing well and see if there’s anything you can do for him. You are perfectly capable of that.”

“B-But what if I do something wrong? What if I make it worse for him?” Jeongin couldn’t stop himself from asking, his hands tightening around the file in his hands when he realised that he was still holding Felix’s file for some reason, “And what the hell does Felix’s file have to do with any of this?”

“Sometimes when a soul needs some help settling in, they ask their reaper to go down to earth for them and tie up a few loose ends they left behind,” Minho said, explaining slowly and carefully so Jeongin and his panicked mind could follow along, “One of Jisung’s loose ends is Felix, we have a feeling he might ask you to go down and check on him.”

“So… you want me to learn about Felix’s life?” Jeongin said, a few tendrils of doubt creeping into his voice, “Because I might have to go and check on him?”

“A reaper can’t fully help a soul unless they know all about them,” Minho said, “Jisung will want to know exactly how Felix is doing, so you need to be able to read Felix and judge his emotional state with him having absolutely no idea that you’re there.”

“Right,” Jeongin said, nodding to himself as he looked back down at the file, “When do you want me to go?”

“Whenever you feel that you’re ready,” Minho said, giving Jeongin a small smile as he reached over to wrap a hand around his wrist, “Don’t rush this, okay? You’ll be absolutely fine if you do it at your own pace.”

“Okay, hyung,” Jeongin simulated taking a deep breath, trying to relax the phantom nerves beating against his stomach, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Minho winked, “Just doing my job. Don’t hesitate to come to Seungmin or me if you need any help, okay?”

“Okay, hyung,” Jeongin said, “Will do.”

Minho gave Jeongin one last smile and wrist-squeeze before walking away, leaving Jeongin feeling just a little bit less stressed than he was before.

And if Jeongin was also excited by the idea of getting see Hyunjin again, then no one had to know.

Jeongin waited until Minho was on the other side of the room and was parking himself on Seungmin’s lap before he went back to work. He ran his thumb over the name on Felix’s file and then opened it, starting to skim through the pages.

He saw Felix as an adorable little child, gradually gaining more and more freckles as he got older, always being nice to those around him.

Felix had the ability to cheer anyone up in seconds, and it was a skill that he only strengthened as he got older, it was what had made Jisung fall for him when they first met.

But Felix seemed to have a small problem that he struggled with; he was extremely forgetful. He was always being nagged for losing his phone or forgetting his homework or never going the right way. It was only ever minor mistakes, but they weighed a lot on his mind.

That was until Jisung came along.

Jisung always had Felix’s schedule memorised, was always happy to follow behind him and pick up after him and Felix always gave him chocolates and flowers in return. They were the perfect duo, forever in sync with the other and what they were doing. It was why Jisung getting too immersed in his work had been such a shock to their system.

It was why Felix would be struggling so much now that he didn’t have Jisung anymore.

That was all it took for Jeongin to officially not be able to take it anymore. He needed to help Felix.

All his worries and fears disappeared from his mind as he stood up from his desk. He pushed all the files into a messy pile in the corner before grabbing Felix’s file and tucking it under his arm.

His chair screeched as he pushed it back to leave, suddenly extremely determined to do his job right. Felix and Jisung were soulmates. They were separated. Jeongin needed to help them.

So, he promptly bid Minho and Seungmin goodbye before he was closing his eyes and picturing the Sanctuary, barely a second passing before the blue light was swallowing him again.

Jeongin appeared right in front of the gates, opening his eyes to see Changbin staring at him like he was expecting him.

Jeongin didn’t even have to say anything before Changbin was lifting his spear, pointing it at the latch and willing his magic to open it, giving Jeongin an encouraging smile as he did so.

“Good luck, Jeongin,” he said, waving Jeongin through the gate, “I trust you can help them.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongin smiled as he began to step forward, “Say hi to Chan-hyung for me.”

“Only if you say hi to Hyunjin for me,” Changbin said, a cheeky grin appearing on his face when Jeongin whirled round to face him, “Oh, yes, I know about that. Haven’t I told you before that having an all-knowing boyfriend has its perks?”

Jeongin opened his mouth to respond, ready to jokingly tell Changbin to mind his own business before Changbin suddenly waved his spear again and the gates slammed in Jeongin’s face. Jeongin just rolled his eyes, already planning on getting Changbin back as he turned to make his way down the golden path.

Jeongin was so caught up in his thoughts about Jisung and Felix that he didn’t realise when he’d arrived at the Sanctuary, still not looking where he was going as he suddenly slammed into someone else.

“Oh my god!” Jeongin exclaimed, tumbling backwards and dropping Felix’s file as he landed on his butt, “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay!” the other person cried, Jeongin feeling something come alive in his chest at the familiar voice.

“Hyunjin-hyung?” Jeongin said, looking upwards and squinting at the sudden harsh sky shining in his eyes.

But he didn’t have to wait long for the sky to fade away, because the figure sliding into Jeongin’s vision was bright enough to put any sun to shame.

“Jeongin?” Hyunjin said, large smile appearing on his face as he held a hand out to Jeongin, “Fancy seeing you here. Sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you over.”

“Don’t worry, hyung, it was my fault,” Jeongin said as he was helped to his feet, trying not to collapse all over again at the feeling of Hyunjin’s warm hand holding his, “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“I wasn’t either,” Hyunjin laughed, “What a silly twist of fate, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jeongin dusted himself off for a few seconds, a moment of silence passing before he looked back up at Hyunjin and met his eyes in a way that seemed to make time freeze, “I guess it was fate.”

The words left Jeongin’s mouth like raindrops, cascading gently through the air and landing with tender drips. Hyunjin was staring right back at him, his eyes glinting like marbles and his lips as pink as a flower petal.

The world faded away.

Jeongin wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them in that moment, to welcome fate and throw himself against Hyunjin.

But there were nerves swirling in Jeongin’s gut, doubt curling in his mind, worry gnawing at his chest. Him and Hyunjin had barely met, and there was still so much more for them to get to know about each other.

Jeongin had also come to the Sanctuary for a completely different purpose; he was supposed to be helping another pair of soulmates, not indulging in his own.

It wasn’t the right time.

If Jeongin was going to have a special moment with Hyunjin, he wanted it to be perfect. He didn’t want it to be rushed when they were both supposed to be doing their jobs, still shy and slightly awkward around each other.

Jeongin wanted to do things right with Hyunjin. He didn’t want them to end up how Jeongin did with his last boyfriend.

And just like that, the moment was broken.

Jeongin cleared his throat, taking a step back as Hyunjin dropped his gaze. The silence stretched awkwardly between them, lingering in the air a few seconds before Jeongin took it upon himself to say something.

“You look nice today, hyung,” Jeongin said, gesturing at Hyunjin’s outfit with a small smile, not failing to notice the way Hyunjin’s face lit up.

“Ah, thanks,” Hyunjin said, looking down at his outfit. He truly did look nice in his simple white dress, legs covered by skin-coloured tights that led down to some flowery pumps. He was draped in his usual gold jewellery, his hair down and flowing gorgeously down to his shoulders, “You do too.”

Jeongin blinked at the words, wondering how someone like Hyunjin could ever say that Jeongin looked nice. Hyunjin had gold eyes, beautiful markings of a nurturer, was literally a masterpiece in human form, and Jeongin just looked… average.

Jeongin didn’t have reaper-runes yet, hadn’t yet developed any kind of extra colour or shimmer to his eyes and he wasn’t quite immersed in the edgy style of reapers.

And Hyunjin still thought he looked good?

“Oh, thank you,” Jeongin said, looking down at himself with a small shrug, “There’s noting really special about the way I look, though.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jeongin’s head snapped up at the disbelief in Hyunjin’s voice, “Jeongin, there’s everything special about the way you look! You’re gorgeous.”

Jeongin felt himself blush deeply at those words, his chest stuttering with something he hadn’t felt in a long time, “Really?” he said shyly, “But I haven’t got the gold eyes or the cool markings or anything like that.”

“Oh, Jeongin,” Hyunjin’s face softened, his hand reaching out to squeeze Jeongin’s, “You don’t need any of that to be beautiful. Sure, you’ll develop some of that soon, but it won’t change your beauty, it’ll only enhance what you already have. Your foxy little face and adorably-shaped eyes are all you need, trust me.”

There was a part of Jeongin that felt he could have teared up at that, Hyunjin’s word unlocking a whole plethora of emotions inside of Jeongin that he hadn’t even realised were there.

It had been so long since he’d been properly loved, so long since he’d had a family or a boyfriend or anything he could consider even close to a soulmate. But it all felt so natural with Hyunjin, it felt so easy to talk to him and so fun with all of Jeongin’s new friends teasing them from the sides.

Jeongin wished he could spend every second of his afterlife with Hyunjin.

But then he remembered that they both had purposes to fulfil. Or, at least, Hyunjin reminded Jeongin that he had a purpose to fulfil.

“Hey, Jeongin,” Hyunjin said, once Jeongin had thanked him profusely for his kind words, “Is that something you dropped?”

Jeongin looked up, following the finger Hyunjin had pointed until his eyes landed on Felix’s file, still on the floor after Jeongin had dropped it when he’d bumped into Hyunjin.

“Oh my god!” Jeongin quickly scrambled to pick it up, almost falling over when Hyunjin brushed past him to do it for him, “Thank you so much, Minho-hyung and Seungmin-hyung would find a way to kill me all over again if I lost that.”

“I can see why,” Hyunjin said, looking down at the file as he ran his thumb lightly over the name on the front, “ _Lee Felix_. This is the file of Jisung’s boyfriend, right? The one who’s still alive.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Jeongin nodded, “The hyungs said I should come alone to talk to Jisung, but that I should take that to help me. They said they trusted me to be able to do it by myself.”

“I trust you too,” Hyunjin smiled as he looked back up at Jeongin, holding the file out to him, “But, if I were you, I wouldn’t tell them that you almost lost that.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not _that_ stupid,” Jeongin said, almost melting at Hyunjin’s little giggle, “Thank you so much for all your help, hyung.”

“You’re welcome, little reaper,” Hyunjin said, giving Jeongin a small wink, “Jisung is at the South end of the fields if you need to find him. Don’t hesitate to come to me if you need any help.”

“Will do, hyung,” Jeongin said, grinning his toothiest grin before he tucked the file against his chest and stepped back, “I’ll see you soon!”

“Y-Yeah, see you,” Hyunjin said, seeming a little flustered as Jeongin’s smile only brightened, the expression still on his face when he turned around to find Jisung.

“Bye!” Jeongin called over his shoulder, a spring in his step as he followed the direction Hyunjin had pointed for him.

Somehow, Jeongin felt a lot less nervous about his meeting with Jisung. He guessed it had something to do with Hyunjin’s calming effect on him. Hyunjin somehow made Jeongin feel like his heart should be racing, whilst also making him feel like he was in the most comfortable place in the afterlife.

Jeongin didn’t know what it was, but he knew that Hyunjin was a magical being.

The voice in the back of Jeongin’s head once more whispered about soulmates, but he ignored it. He loved the idea of soulmates, but he didn’t want to rush into anything. He needed to take things calm and slow, to let him and Hyunjin work things out when they were ready.

Besides, it was a whole different pair of soulmates that Jeongin was supposed to be focusing on.

The thought made Jeongin excited as he approached where he could now see Jisung, smiling when he realised how beautiful he looked.

Jisung seemed like a whole different person to the terrified little soul Jeongin had first met. He was now sat on a pristine white bench, staring into the Sun with his face completely free of worry lines.

His clothes were all white, his fringe blowing contently over his forehead and a slight golden hint to his eyes. He was practically glowing, seeming to have settled nicely now that he was no longer alone in a place that only brought him sadness.

Jeongin almost didn’t want to interrupt him, feeling like he was infringing on the inner peace Jisung seemed to have found. But Jeongin knew it was necessary, even if Jisung looked relaxed on the outside, Jeongin still had no idea what was going on in his head.

“Hyung,” Jeongin eventually managed to say, keeping his voice clear and neutral as Jisung jumped slightly in his seat, “Hey there.”

“Oh, Jeongin, hi,” Jisung said, smiling in surprise and patting the seat next to him, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay,” Jeongin said, settling himself into the seat and tucking Felix’s file next to him where Jisung couldn’t see it, “I just came to check up on you, to see how you’re coping with Sanctuary life?”

“Oh, it’s great,” Jisung said, seeming to genuinely mean it as his smile stretched into a gummy one, “It’s so relaxing here.”

“That’s good,” Jeongin said, unable to keep the happiness from his voice at how pleased Jisung seemed, “I see you’re already enjoying the Sun.”

“Of course, I am,” Jisung nodded, “Hyunjin said it’s practically summer all the time here, but not so much that we’re all melting in the heat. I’ve got no idea how that works, but I’m not complaining.”

“Yeah, I can remember thinking something similar when I first came here,” Jeongin said, pausing as he looked into the distance for a few seconds, “That was a long time ago now.”

Jisung turned to face him, “Oh yeah? You’ve been in the afterlife a while?”

“Yeah,” Jeongin said, his eyes tracing over the Sun, “It was about time I left the Sanctuary, hence why I’m here trying to help you now.”

“Well, I’m proud of you,” Jisung said, his voice made of so much certainty that Jeongin’s head snapped to him, “What? I know we haven’t known each other very long, but you seem so strong. I couldn’t imagine ever leaving this place, ever trying to do something knowing there are people still on earth missing me.”

“Thank you, hyung, that really does mean a lot,” Jeongin said, letting Jisung reach over to bump shoulders with him before he carried on, “And the people on earth is part of the reason why I’m here.”

Jisung’s eyebrows raised, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I want you to feel safe and settled here no matter what,” Jeongin said, “So, if there’s anything on earth you’d like me to check up on for you. I can go down and do it, within reason of course.”

“Wait,” Jisung bolted up in his seat, “You really mean that? You’d go down to earth for me?”

Jeongin nodded, reaching over to squeeze Jisung’s hand, “Of course, I will.”

“Oh my god,” Jisung looked shocked, his face breaking out into a dazed grin. “I… oh my god.”

“I know it’s a lot,” Jeongin said, “Take all the time you need to think about it.”

“No, I don’t need time!” Jisung said so quickly that Jeongin practically jumped in his seat, “Sorry, that was a bit too eager. I just know exactly what I want.”

“Okay,” Jeongin said as he reached behind him to touch Felix’s file, having a pretty good idea about what Jisung was going to say, “What do you need?”

“I need you to check on Felix,” Jisung said, surprising absolutely no one with his answer, “I’m worried about him.”

“Of course,” Jeongin pulled out the file from behind him and let Jisung read the name on the front, “I had a funny feeling you’d say that.”

Jisung’s eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he stared at the file in Jeongin’s hands, “Is that… is that Felix’s life in there?”

“It is,” Jeongin said, voice solemn as Jisung stared at him in shock, “I was reading it to see how best to help Felix, but I also wanted to ask you. Is there anything specific you want me to focus on when I go to him? Obviously, he won’t be able to see me, but I can still try to help.”

“Right, yeah,” Jisung said, his gaze flicking between Jeongin and the file as he cleared his throat, “Felix is… forgetful. It makes him a little ditzy sometimes. It’s really cute, but maybe you could try to help him with it if it affects him?”

“Yes, of course,” Jeongin said, “You were the one who helped him with it before, right?”

“Yeah, I was,” Jisung nodded as his voice trailed off with thought, his eyes glazing over, an endeared look sparling within them, “It’s just little things. He writes up a schedule for himself every few days, so he always knows where he needs to be. But he does it with these colourful gel pens that are really expensive and he’s always forgetting to put the lids on properly.”

Jisung started to smile as he spoke, a slight blush coating his cheeks that Jeongin practically melted at. Jisung looked like he thought the world of Felix, even with his forgetfulness, and Jeongin couldn’t help but think of Hyunjin as he watched it.

“And Felix is always forgetting to re-dye the roots of his hair,” Jisung carried on, still smiling to himself, “So, maybe get him some more hair dye. And maybe make sure he’s still putting his house keys in the little pot I got him, so he doesn’t lose them again. And,” Jisung’s voice got faster, “Oh my god, please check that he still has his favourite dance hoodie. I used to wear it so he’d always know where it was, but obviously that can’t happen anymore. And please can you-”

“Okay, okay, I think that’s enough to help him,” Jeongin cut through Jisung’s rambling, laughing when Jisung jumped like he’d forgotten Jeongin was there, “I promise I’ll take care of all that.”

“Oh my god, sorry about that,” Jisung broke out into a grin, “I promise you if Felix was here then he’d have so much more to say about me. We just like taking care of each other.”

“And that’s adorable,” Jeongin said, “And it’s what I’m here to help you with, so don’t worry about it.”

Something seemed to shine over Jisung’s face at that, his eyes lighting up and his mouth lifting at the corners. He pushed some hair out his eyes, looking shy as he spoke.

“Thank you… thank you so much, Jeongin,” he said, staring into Jeongin’s eyes, “This was an opportunity I didn’t think I’d ever have, so thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Jeongin smiled, “I’m just doing what I can. We all know what it’s like to be in your position, we all just want to help.”

“I’m really grateful for that,” Jisung said, his bottom lip getting caught between his teeth for a few seconds before he spoke again, “I don’t know what I ever imagined the afterlife to be, but this… this is nice.”

“Good,” Jeongin said, reaching over to squeeze Jisung’s hand again before he pulled away, “I’ll let you know how it goes with Felix after I get back, okay?”

“That’d be really nice,” Jisung said, looking at Jeongin like he meant the whole world, “Good luck down there. Be sweet on Felix for me.”

“I will,” Jeongin said, feeling his chest tighten at the pain in Jisung’s voice, “It’ll be okay.”

“Thanks, Jeongin,” Jisung gave Jeongin a last smile, letting him go as he watched Jeongin stand up, “I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll return with good news,” Jeongin said, clutching the file tight in his hands, “I promise.”

Jisung just gave Jeongin a pained smile, a somewhat peaceful look in his eyes as Jeongin turned away. He forced himself not to look back at Jisung, not wanting to make the moment harder than it needed to be.

But it was only when Jisung was completely out of his sight, that Jeongin realised he had made a terrible mistake. He stopped in his tracks, looking down at the file with a strangled gasp.

_He had no idea how to get to Felix._

Jeongin didn’t know how he hadn’t realised. He thought that he’d planned everything, that he’d be able to execute it all as easily as possible. But, no, Jeongin had no idea how to get to the person he was supposed to be helping.

Sure, Jeongin had made it to Earth and back to the Sanctuary before. And he seemed to find it pretty easy to disappear into people’s files. But Jeongin had no idea how to get to a certain person, he couldn’t picture Felix’s location if he didn’t know where Felix was, and he was certain that if he used the file then he’d only get lost in Felix’s memories.

Jeongin was about a second from having some phantom meltdown. He felt like he couldn’t go to Minho and Seungmin because he didn’t want to them judge him. He _definitely_ couldn’t go back to Jisung because he would have no idea how to help and would probably only get more worried.

So, Jeongin was stuck in the middle of a field, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do.

It was when that a familiar pair of golden eyes filtered into his vision and Jeongin almost threw himself into Hyunjin’s chest.

“Jeongin?” Hyunjin said, concern flickering over his face as he carefully wrapped steady hands around the fingers that Jeongin was using to hold the file, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Jeongin shook his head harshly, trying to force back his panic, “I’m just being stupid.”

“I’m sure you’re not,” Hyunjin said, his thumbs starting to stroke over the back of Jeongin’s hands, “Just take a second, okay? And then tell me what you need.”

Hyunjin’s voice was soft, Jeongin instantly relaxing at the way it filtered into his ears. He allowed himself to lean into Hyunjin slightly, enjoying the warmth it spread through his skin and the support it provided him.

It was completely obvious why Hyunjin was a nurturer, why he was trusted to take care of the panicked and broken souls that were brought to him.

“I just… couldn’t figure something out,” Jeongin said after a few seconds, pursing his lips as Hyunjin’s eyes stared into his, “I need to get down to earth to see Felix, but I realised I have no idea how to do that.”

Hyunjin’s lips pulled up into an endeared smile, “It’s okay,” he said gently, “I can help you with that.”

Jeongin’s head popped up, his eyes widening like that of a hopeful child, “Can you really?”

“Of course, I can,” Hyunjin said, “Are you calm enough? I can help you right now, if you’re ready.”

“Yes, yes, I am,” Jeongin was quick to say, bobbing his head as Hyunjin tightened his grip on his hands, “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me,” Hyunjin said, giving Jeongin a wink before his face became more serious, “Okay, now I need you to focus really hard for this. Close your eyes.”

Jeongin did as Hyunjin asked, not even questioning the blind trust he had for him as Hyunjin’s voice continued to carry firmly from in front of him.

“Okay,” Hyunjin said, “Now picture Felix. Think about all you know about him, about what he looks like and the things he does. Think of him in the way Jisung sees him, think about what he could possibly be doing right now.”

Jeongin was afraid to admit that his imagination was failing him a bit. He didn’t know much about Felix, was only going off the minimal things he’d said and heard. But he kept trying, imagining Felix’s freckles, the overgrown roots of his hair, his pens lying around without lids on them whilst he frantically searched for his keys.

“Whatever you do,” Hyunjin continued to speak, “Do _not_ imagine a past moment of Felix. You’ll only end up in his memories. Keep in the present, stay with me whilst you think.”

Jeongin forced himself to acknowledge Hyunjin’s touch on his wrists. He made sure he thought about Jisung on the bench. He kept himself focused on who Felix was right now, Felix who was mourning and in need of Jeongin’s help.

“You’re doing so well,” Hyunjin said, his voice so gentle that it allowed Jeongin to fully relax.

And that was when it worked.

The blue light started to swirl around Jeongin, the touch disappearing from his wrists and his eyes open to see himself floating. He flailed for a few seconds, half-wishing Hyunjin was still with him as he got his bearings, preparing himself to land in an unfamiliar place.

Jeongin was only just able to catch himself when his two feet hit the floor, standing him on a ratty carpet that could only belong to cheap apartment. The same cheap apartment that Jeongin had watched Jisung apologise to Felix in.

But it was different this time. It was messy.

Some of the stuff had gone, all jumbled up in a pile of boxes that were shoved in the corner of the room, containing what Jeongin could only guess was all of Jisung’s belongings.

Jeongin winced as he stared at it. He couldn’t imagine living with someone and then having to go around and take away everything that belonged to them. As if losing the person wasn’t enough.

Jeongin was so tempted to go up to the boxes and ruffle through them that he didn’t notice someone entering the room, his head whipping around when he heard a sniffle from behind him. He turned to see Felix emerging from the bedroom, his hair messy and face pale.

He looked nothing like the happy, endeared boy Jisung had described.

Something rippled through Jeongin then, a steely determination setting in his gut as he watched Felix shuffle into the room and drop a pile of pens onto the table.

Jeongin had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thaaaank uuu for reading, i know that chapter was quite long and not particularly action-filled so i hope it was still okay xx
> 
> writing jisung all whipped and endeared for felix was honestly so much fun, i hope you liked that too 
> 
> once again thank you for reading, please help stream god's menu to 100m views!! but also get rest and take care of yourself whenever you need it <33


	7. Right Place, Wrong Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix was strong, but every strength had its weaknesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya all xx
> 
> this chapter is something a little different from the rest of the story. it's a chapter im very excited about, but also very nervous about at the same time. it was actually the hardest chapter for me to write. i tried to keep it as light-hearted as possible, but there are some parts of this that are very heavy. it's partly drawn from my own life experiences, but not completely. i hope you're able to enjoy it <3
> 
> tw: grief/mourning - please always stay safe whilst reading <3

Jeongin watched as Felix went about his day.

On earth, it seemed to be late in the evening, the windows outside showing a dark sky with scatters of constellations just starting to make an appearance. Jeongin almost got distracted looking at them, it had been a long time since he’d seen a night sky from below.

But Jeongin soon found himself distracted by Felix.

Felix was unlike Jeongin had imagined him. He’d been expecting a mourning boyfriend, someone who was broken and weak and couldn’t pull themselves back up, but it seemed that Jeongin had underestimated Felix’s strength.

Somehow, Felix was still getting all his classwork done, working through his dance lectures whilst on a video call with a friendly classmate he called Chaeryeong. She seemed sweet on Felix, helping him whenever he struggled and accommodating for the fact that he’d missed some work.

Felix also seemed to be taking better care of himself. Jeongin circled his apartment, casting his eyes over the lists pinned up on the walls everywhere. Felix had food lists on the fridge reminding him to eat and what recipes were healthiest to cook. He had a work list by his desk reminding him what he needed to do for school. He had a list of all Jisung’s possessions by the pile of boxes, reminding him what still needed to be packed away and sorted.

That last list was what hurt Jeongin the most.

It also seemed to be what hurt Felix the most. He let out a large sigh whenever he looked at it, seeming to find it painful to have to slowly remove every last trace of his boyfriend from his apartment and box it away like it meant nothing.

That thought was admittedly heart-breaking.

Jeongin didn’t know how Felix did it. He didn’t know how Felix was living in a world so different from the one he’d lived in a few weeks ago, missing the one person he’d loved more than anything.

And now Felix was having to strip that person form the world, sending the possessions to Jisung’s family and not getting to keep that many for himself.

But there were a few things that Felix seemed to determined to hold onto.

That was where Jeongin’s job began.

The first thing Jeongin noticed was that Felix was wearing an oversized jumper that had the logo from Jisung’s high school on it. It didn’t take a genius to work out that the clothing was Jisung’s and Felix felt comfortable wearing it. Jeongin thought it was cute, but it also reminded him that Jisung wanted to make sure that Felix still had his dance hoodie.

So, Jeongin went on a search.

He started in the bedroom, raiding it top to bottom and practically burying himself in Felix’s wardrobe trying to find the hoodie. He didn’t find anything there, so he moved onto the drawers, also having no luck.

Then he moved to the laundry pile, finding no hoodie there but also deciding to just throw the lot in the washing machine and turn it on. He hoped Felix would find it later and think he’d just forgotten about when he decided to do laundry.

Afterwards, Jeongin went over to Felix’s school bags, wondering if the hoodie could be in Felix’s dance kit. It wasn’t, but Jeongin did find all Felix’s notebooks stacked upside down and the wrong way round with pages sticking out. So, he sorted them out, smiling when he noticed all Felix’s flowery doodles scattered over the work.

In the meantime, Felix was sat at the coffee table in the makeshift living room area, surrounded by colourful pens whilst leant over even more notebooks. Jeongin knew that Felix couldn’t see him, but he decided to stay as far away from him as possible all the same. Felix deserved his privacy.

So, Jeongin wondered into the kitchen, smiling when he found Felix’s hoodie discarded under one of the chairs. He picked it up and dusted it off, folding it up before he placed it in Felix’s dance bag.

Jeongin couldn’t describe it, but the action filled him with something warm.

He knew his actions were probably going to confuse Felix more than anything else, but it still felt good. It felt nice to know that maybe Felix’s next day would be easier because he’d have less things to worry about.

Jeongin obviously couldn’t take away Felix’s mourning. He couldn’t fix the permanent pain that Felix would have to learn to live with. But he could make the rest of Felix’s life easier, giving him less stress and anxiety so he could fully focus on fixing himself rather than all the pointless little things around him.

“You’re doing well, Felix,” Jeongin whispered from where he was propped against the living room door, watching Felix as he made his lists, “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

The doorway almost went out from under Jeongin when Felix’s head suddenly shot up. Jeongin stuck a hand to his chest, watching in terror as Felix looked around him, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open like he was about to say something.

“Is anyone there?” Felix called, Jeongin almost bolting from the room as Felix’s eyes slid right over him, “Hello?”

Jeongin didn’t know how Felix had somehow managed to hear him, but he felt lightning sparks bolting through him at the sight. Felix looked so hopeful for something Jeongin couldn’t describe, like the sound of a voice had awakened something within him.

“S-Sungie?” Felix stuttered around the word, his eyes still circling around the room, a child’s shine glimmering on his face.

A sharp pain shot through Jeongin’s chest, his eyes closing and shoulders dropping when he heard Felix call Jisung’s name again. It was then that Jeongin was reminded just how vulnerable Felix was, how his loss was making him more open to pain and more hopeful for things he couldn’t have.

Felix was strong, but every strength had its weaknesses.

Jeongin wanted nothing more than to reach for Felix in that moment, to tell him that it would get better and that he would learn to live for himself. But Jeongin couldn’t, he couldn’t reveal himself to Felix.

So, instead, Jeongin pursed his lips, deciding his job wasn’t quite done yet.

He watched as Felix shook his head, cursing to himself for thinking Jisung could near be him. Jeongin couldn’t help but think that if only Felix had known how much Jisung was with him when he was still on earth, maybe things would be different. Maybe Felix would feel less alone.

But Jisung was gone now, so Felix was on his own as he strode off to the bedroom, looking ready to cry.

Jeongin watched him go, not sure what he was supposed to do. He was about to try and follow Felix when his eyes landed on the coffee table Felix had been working on, and he smiled knowingly to himself.

Felix had left all the lids off his pens.

Jeongin giggled to himself, sitting on the sofa and reaching for the pens. He remembered Jisung reminding him to fix this, and the endeared smile he’d had on his face when he’d done so.

Jeongin used utmost care when clicking each lid onto the correctly coloured pen, organising them all into a neat line and placing them on top of the notebook. Even if it didn’t stop Felix crying right now, at least it would stop Felix’s pens from drying out, which was an extra worry he didn’t need.

Felix’s keys were also on the coffee table, next to all his notebooks, so Jeongin was quick to pick them up and take them over to the colourful pot by the front door that Jisung had mentioned. Felix’s next morning would be easier if he didn’t have to scramble to find his keys again.

But then a thought occurred to Jeongin as he made his way back, passing all the lists Felix had written.

Jeongin didn’t hesitate to pick up a baby pink pen. He walked over to the list stuck to the wall of Felix’s kitchen, reading through a chocolate chip cookie recipe that Felix had written in adorable swirly handwriting.

Jeongin read over all the ingredients, going through the cupboards to see which ones Felix had and which ones he didn’t. He found a new piece of paper and, in Felix’s handwriting, wrote a shopping list of all the things Felix needed. Jeongin took care to add a heart at the end before taping it to the fridge, hoping a new batch of chocolate chip cookies would be enough to help Felix feel better in the future.

Of course, Jeongin also updated Felix’s regular shopping list. He wanted to make sure Felix also had all the basic food necessities as well as cookies.

Next, Jeongin finished writing up Felix’s weekly schedule for him. Then he read the list on Jisung’s box of possessions and went around the house grabbing a few things he could add to the boxes. He left the more sentimental objects, knowing Felix deserved to be the one to handle those.

Felix stayed shut in his bedroom the whole time, small sniffles echoing out from the other side of the door.

The sounds broke Jeongin’s heart, but he couldn’t acknowledge them. He knew that Felix couldn’t ever know he was there, but there was still part of Jeongin that wished he could just hold Felix, telling him that the pain would go away and that everything would be okay.

Instead, Jeongin had to show that to Felix through actions.

So, Jeongin thought back to Jisung, smiling when he remembered something else Jisung had told him.

Jeongin went to the bathroom, tidying it up and cleaning the mirror before he stared down at his hands. He closed his eyes, forcing his imagination back into action. He pictured some bleach and blond hair dye, imagining just how glossy and nice they’d look on Felix’s roots.

It only took a minute of imagining for there to be a small explosion of blue light, Jeongin opening his eyes to see the two boxes in his hands. He cheered silently to himself, placing them on the counter and stepping back so he could wait for Felix to notice them.

Jeongin knew it was likely that Felix would wash his face once he was done crying, so that would bring him to the bathroom.

As it turns out, Jeongin was exactly right.

Felix shuffled into the bathroom a few minutes later, rubbing at his face and his eyes brushing straight over Jeongin as expected. He caught sight of himself in the mirror, wincing and bending down to lean over the sink.

That was when Felix spotted the bleach and hair dye on the counter.

He froze like a deer in the headlights, Jeongin watching with what felt like his heart in his throat as Felix straightened back up, his eyes never leaving the boxes.

Felix looked like someone had just thrown a bucket of ice water over him, confusion spreading like a disease over his face and even a tendril of fear curling in his eyes.

Jeongin worried that he’d over-stepped his bounds.

But then Felix started rummaging around in his pockets. His eyes were wide, breaths fast-paced and hands shaky as he pulled out his phone. Jeongin didn’t move in time to see the contact that Felix dialled, but he waited patiently as Felix brought the phone up to his ear, biting his thumb whilst he waited for the other person to pick up.

The phone clicked faintly after a few seconds.

“Hey, Chenle, hi!” Felix said into the phone, smiling to himself as ‘Chenle’ chattered away at the other end, “Sorry, yeah, I’m okay. Can I ask you something?”

There was a confirmation from Chenle, Jeongin observing as Felix looked down at the box of the bleach, tilting it towards himself.

“Did you buy me some new bleach and hair dye?” Felix said, furrowing his brow when Chenle answered a clear ‘no’, “Okay, it’s just I found some in my apartment and I swear I didn’t buy myself any.”

Chenle’s voice got louder. Jeongin wasn’t able to make out any of the words, but he could easily recognise the tone of concern and the very fast pace at which Chenle was speaking. Felix was quick to drop the bleach, gesturing wildly as he responded.

“No, I’m fine, Chenle! I am, I promise,” he said, “It must have just slipped my mind or something. I promise you that I’m fine.”

Jeongin giggled when Felix’s phone went silent, a few seconds passing before Chenle huffed out what sounded like a reluctant ‘okay’. Felix sighed heavily in relief, rubbing a hand over his face before he seemed to get an idea.

“Hey, Chenle,” he said, a smile stretching on his lips, “Since I have this bleach and stuff, why don’t you come over and help me fix my roots? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’ve gotten a bit out of control recently.”

The indigent shout from Chenle was enough to make Jeongin full-on cackle.

“Yes, I know, the people on the Moon probably _can_ see my roots,” Felix whined, “But that’s all the more reason to help me, right? You know I hate doing it by myself.”

There was an extra weight to Felix’s last words, an unspoken ‘ _usually Jisung would be the one to help me_ ’ that Felix didn’t say, but was heard out-loud all the same.

Jeongin frowned, tempted to just dye Felix’s hair himself, but that was when Chenle responded, promising to be over soon if Felix’s smile was anything to go by.

“Oh, and Chenle,” Felix said before they could hang up, his eyes snapping to the box of blond hair dye, “Can you stop at the beauty shop on your way? I don’t think I want blond hair this time.”

Jeongin’s eyebrows shot up. Curiosity burned in his chest, but he was forced to ignore it. Chenle seemed to know exactly what Felix wanted, promising to get it and hanging up before either him or Felix could say it out-loud.

There was a part of Jeongin that was even amused. It seemed like it wasn’t just a day for Jeongin to surprise Felix, apparently Felix could do the same back.

It didn’t take long for Chenle to crash his way through the door, a plastic bag swinging in his hand and his mouth running a mile a minute. Felix rushed over to him, helping him inside and taking the two iced coffees Chenle was holding in his other hand, thanking him profusely.

“Stop thanking me idiot,” Chenle grumbled, toeing off his shoes, “The coffee was a selfish gesture. I just really wanted one myself.”

“Well, thanks for getting me one too,” Felix smiled, gesturing at Chenle to put his stuff down before he started making his way to the bathroom.

Chenle stayed in the main area of the apartment, looking around the kitchen and shouting that Felix really needed to go grocery shopping. Jeongin decided to stay and watch him, suddenly glad that he’d updated the shopping lists.

He watched as Chenle continued his way through the kitchen, pausing when he saw the cookie recipe Jeongin had edited.

“Hey, hyung!” Chenle called through the apartment, getting a grunt from Felix in return, his eyes never leaving the paper pinned to the fridge, “Were you planning on making cookies again?”

Felix made what sounded like a confused noise in return, but Chenle seemed to take it as a confirmation. His eyes widened, Jeongin twisting to try and see Chenle’s face as a relieved breath stuttered through his chest.

“Wow,” Chenle said, seemingly more to himself than anyone else, “Hyung hasn’t made cookies in ages.”

Jeongin couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride at the words. It seemed he’d figured out exactly what Felix needed and that he was slowly helping Felix to return to himself. Even Chenle seemed surprised, and Jeongin had guessed he was Felix’s closest friend besides Jisung.

Chenle continued to stare at the paper, his finger reaching out to trace over some of the carefully-written words. Jeongin was almost scared that Chenle had figured something out, but then Felix suddenly shouted at him to hurry up, his voice loud enough to make Chenle jump.

The second iced coffee was left forgotten on the counter as Chenle huffed his way to the bathroom. Jeongin followed behind him, watching in endearment as Chenle helped Felix change into an old hoodie, the two of them setting up the bleach and chattering away together.

It was obvious within the first minute that Chenle was clumsy, but he seemed to know what he was doing with Felix’s hair. He was careful with all the strands, his hands tender and gentle as he handled the bleach.

There was soon a blissed-out expression on Felix’s face. Jeongin couldn’t help but admire him, noting how different Felix seemed when he was carefree.

He continued to talk with Chenle, Jeongin listening as Felix confessed to crying earlier. Chenle responded with kind words, telling Felix that he was doing well in a way that seemed easy and practiced. Something about that made Jeongin feel a little better; it was good to know that Felix was getting constant reassurance,

The conversation even shifted to Jisung at one point, but that was only short-lived. It seemed Felix wasn’t ready to talk about him yet and Chenle didn’t force him. Jeongin probably would have knocked him out if he did.

There was a part of Jeongin that was whispering that his job was done. He’d fulfilled all of Jisung’s tasks, had checked up on Felix, was watching him relaxed and safe with a friend. Jeongin had no reason to be on earth anymore.

But Jeongin was still the curious little boy that he had been when he was on earth, so he stayed.

If Felix wasn’t going to use the blond hair dye that Jeongin had gotten for him, then Jeongin simply _had_ to know what he was going to use instead.

But, when it was done, and Chenle was towel-drying Felix’s hair and showering him with compliments, Jeongin realised just how obvious it had been all along.

All over the apartment, there were pictures of Jisung and Felix, the two of them always looking happy and always touching in some way. In most of the photos, Jisung had long wavy hair, bangs in his eyes more often than not. He had an ever-changing assortment of hats, most of them Felix seemed to steal halfway through the photo being taken.

But in most of the photos, all of them seeming pretty recent, Jisung had bright orange hair.

Jeongin could remember reading about it in Jisung’s file. Everyone Jisung knew, except Felix, had told him that it would be a bad idea, that the dye would be too bright, too obnoxious, that Jisung wouldn’t be able to pull it off.

But Jisung, like usual, ignored all the opinions he didn’t like. He dyed his hair the grossest orange he could find. And he looked amazing.

Now Felix was pulling the towel away from his hair, grinning like a child as he stared in the mirror. His own orange hair was bright on his head, sticking up in every direction and somehow looking so hot that even Chenle was speechless.

“Hell yeah,” Felix said, shaking his head and spraying water everywhere, making Chenle shriek, “That’s what I’m talking about.”

“I know I’ve been telling you that you really need dark hair again,” Chenle said after a few seconds, grabbing the towel off Felix and throwing it back over Felix’s head so he could finish drying his hair, “But you look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Felix smiled, still staring at his reflection with something sparkling in his eyes, “Jisung would love it.”

“Yeah,” Chenle’s eyes twinkled, “He would.”

The words echoed through the room, settling in the air with an added warmth. Jeongin couldn’t help but smile, watching as Chenle and Felix continued in silence, matching relief on both their faces.

As much as Jeongin could have stayed there and watched them all night, he knew his job was truly done now.

He bid Felix a silent goodbye, quietly praying that Chenle would continue to take care of him for however long he was on earth. Jeongin didn’t know how long it would be before either of them were taken to the afterlife, but he trusted that they’d both lead fulfilling lives.

Jeongin pictured the Sanctuary in his mind, his thoughts wondering to Jisung as he did so. Eventually, Jisung would have to go on his journey too, he’d have to find his purpose in the afterlife, even if it was without Felix.

The selfish part of Jeongin was excited about Jisung potentially becoming a reaper, but he knew that might not happen. Maybe, Jisung would make use of his soft, shy side and join Hyunjin in being a nurturer. Maybe, Jisung would choose his craziness and join Changbin in being a guard.

And, maybe, when a long time had passed, Felix would also have to choose his purpose one day. Jeongin had to think about Felix, knowing he was both caring enough to become an angelic nurturer and strong enough to become a demonic guard.

Felix could do whatever he wanted.

Maybe, him and Jisung would both be angels. Maybe they’d both be demons. Maybe they’d pursue different purposes and they’d become the demon-angel romance that the afterlife was long overdue.

The afterlife already had two reapers, a guard and a god, and potential for a reaper and nurturer to become a couple. Jisung and Felix would fit right in.

Unfortunately, Jeongin didn’t know what was actually going to happen to them, or what was even going to happen to him and Hyunjin. He didn’t know what the afterlife truly had in store for any of them.

But there was something Jeongin was absolutely sure of.

_They’d all be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> im actually very curious about your thoughts on this chapter? i know it strays a little from the main plot, but i felt it was an important section to include. grief is a very human, very normal emotion and i hope my portrayal of it was okay. i think i was partly trying to show that, no matter what happens and no matter who you lose, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel and you will always have people that will stay with you. i hope i showed that well xx
> 
> (also it was a little hard trying to convey felix's emotions from jeongin's pov, so i hope that wasn't too confusing)
> 
> please leave your thoughts down below, and have a beautiful day. ily <3 xx


	8. Only Time will Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because, at the end of the day,” Chan shuffled over so his shoulder was touching Jeongin’s, “We’re just the universe’s way of experimenting with itself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya all!! thank you so much to the positive responses on the last chapter, they really did help me with this chapter <33
> 
> once again not a huge action-filled chapter, but i think some conversations that our characters needed to have. i actually had a really nice time writing this
> 
> please enjoy <3 xx

Staring down at the surface of the earth really could be quite thought-provoking.

It was one of the first things Jeongin had discovered about the afterlife.

Sitting on the end of a cloud, legs dangling over the edge with the big blue of the earth twirling below, it really made Jeongin think.

It made Jeongin think of all the people he knew down there. Most of them were already dead themselves, but new generations of Jeongin’s family still lived, upholding the family name and honouring his young memory for as long as they could.

It made Jeongin think of all the mourners on earth. All the people who had to live without someone they’d lost. Felix was still down there, still learning to live without the boy who brought him joy. Felix was slowly discovering joy in other places, but the world would never quite be the same for him.

And, lastly, it made Jeongin think of humanity as a whole. Despite all odds, humans had found a way to survive, to evolve, to live with and without one another. Death was something they could all unite in, and now Jeongin could stare down at them all, lost deep in his thoughts.

Jeongin smiled to himself, it had been a while since he could just sit like this.

He’d spent what felt like the last few weeks with Minho and Seungmin. They’d finished their case with Jisung, wishing him well and promising they’d always be there if he needed help. Jisung had seemed sad to see them go, but was also thriving in the Sanctuary, already thinking about all the good he was going to do in the afterlife.

Closing the case on Jisung had also meant closing the case on Felix. They likely wouldn’t be seeing him again until he needed to make his own way in the afterlife. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be for many years to come.

That just left Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin.

The three of them had opened a new case. Jeongin’s eyes had practically bugged out of his head when he’d seen a new light flashing brightly on the wall, a new soul that was ready for their help.

Jeongin had taken the lead on this case, taking Minho and Seungmin down to earth to meet a little old lady who looked less than surprised to see them. In fact, she looked like she’d been expecting them, like she was ready to finally say goodbye to the earth that had been so nice to her.

It had been a sad case, but still a pleasant one.

It had evoked a lot of thoughts for Jeongin, about how he’d died young, about how he was finding his purpose in the afterlife rather than during his time on earth. There was nothing Jeongin could do about it, but it still made him think.

Had his life on earth really made a difference?

Was fulfilling his purpose in the afterlife really contributing to the universe?

If humans were only given one life, surely he should have been given a longer one?

The questions ticked round and round Jeongin’s mind, circling like the hands of a clock and repeating over and over like the passage of time. With every passing second, he thought more and more about his life and he soon found himself staring deep into the earth, wondering how the hell he was supposed to unlock all its secrets.

Was someone like Jeongin even allowed to know the secrets of the universe?

Was he really just one insignificant speck in a universe that was bigger than he’d ever be able to comprehend?

Jeongin was so far in his head that he didn’t hear two steps of footsteps approaching him from behind. He practically jumped out his skin to the sound of someone clearing their throat, whipping round to see two friendly pairs of eyes staring down at him.

“Oh,” Jeongin said, blinking away the fog still in his mind, “Hi, hyungs. Sorry I didn’t hear you coming over.”

“It’s okay, curious one,” Chan said, his gaze twinkling gently as he looked down at Jeongin, “You looked pretty deep in your thoughts there.”

Jeongin smiled shyly, “Yeah,” he ducked his head, “I was.”

Changbin grinned, one hand linked with Chan’s as he reached down to use his free hand to ruffle Jeongin’s hair, “Care to share what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Jeongin stuttered, his brain short-circuiting as he worked out how the hell he was supposed to put his thoughts into words, and whether relaying them to the literal all-knowing ruler of the universe and his demon soulmate would be a good idea.

He raked his gaze back over Chan and Changbin, relieved to find that they looked a lot less intimidating than they had when he’d first met them.

Chan’s eyes were still bright, the purple one fizzling with its extra energy, but his hair was messy and falling over his face, missing the headpieces he’d been wearing when Jeongin had first met him. He had on a dark green blouse, a few of the buttons undone and untucked from the black trousers on his legs. He looked like he’d just finished a long day of work.

Changbin looked similar, missing the armour he usually wore to work and instead dressed in a black t-shirt with black cargo pants, a dagger hanging off his belt and his hair tucked behind his ears. His earrings were the same colour as his eyes; a black one and a red one with swirls of purple tingling between them, displaying Chan’s magic that always liked to follow Changbin around.

Jeongin couldn’t help but admire them, easily seeing the strength in their stance and their bond even when they were dressed down. He wondered who the hell he was to tell them his thoughts, to speculate about the universe to them when they were clearly some of the universe’s favourites.

Chan also had a bond with the universe that Jeongin would never be able to understand. He shouldn’t waste Chan’s time with his pointless little concerns.

In the end, Jeongin turned away from them, staring back down at his legs dangling over the earth. He resolved to not worry them, to let them relax whilst they didn’t have to be attending to their difficult jobs.

“My thoughts are… complicated,” Jeongin said, his hands fiddling with the cloud underneath him, “I won’t bore you with them.”

A few seconds of silence passed, Jeongin convinced that Chan and Changbin had walked away. But then he jumped at two presences suddenly appearing at his sides, turning to see Chan and Changbin settling either side of him and dangling their own legs over the edge. 

“Hyungs?” Jeongin couldn’t help but ask, switching his gaze between them as they smiled at him, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Chan grinned, “We’re here to listen to you.”

Jeongin blinked, taking a moment to process the words before, “Wait, really? You don’t have to.”

“But we want to,” Chan said, softer this time, Jeongin feeling Changbin nudge him lightly from the other side.

“You looked pretty deep in thought there,” Changbin said, “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jeongin said, re-directing his gaze back down to the view below them, “I was just… watching the earth.”

The words hung in the air for a few moments, Chan and Changbin’s eyes also slinking down to the planet below them. Jeongin imagined that they could see a lot more than he could, that their view was much more intense, and much more important, than his was.

“What about the earth is catching your eye today, little one?” Chan said after a minute, his voice gentle but firm enough that Jeongin knew he had to give a real answer this time.

“I’m just… thinking about all the people still down there,” Jeongin said, a heavy sigh leaving his lips, “All the people who’ve lost someone, who are living without their loved ones. My death meant nothing to most of humanity, I was barely down there long enough to leave a mark.”

Jeongin spoke sadly, his tone wistful and carrying sorrow. He didn’t want to sit there feeling sorry for himself, questioning his own existence. He especially didn’t want to be so vulnerable in front of Chan and Changbin, two mystical beings he would never be able to compete with. But he couldn’t help himself, the thoughts were just too strong.

“What if… what if I don’t really have a purpose?” Jeongin carried on, “What if I’m too insignificant to the universe that it just doesn’t care if I’m a reaper or not? What if there never will be a way for me to move on?”

Jeongin’s tone had dropped by the time he finished speaking, his voice quiet and eyes drooped. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the two people seat either side of him.

They must have thought he was so pathetic.

“Jeongin,” Chan’s voice was firm, Jeongin curling into himself at the sound of it, “I have seen almost everything in this whole universe and I can tell you that I have never, _ever_ met or seen or heard about a single person that wasn’t significant.”

Jeongin’s head whipped up, his gaze instantly boring into Chan’s.

He stared into Chan’s eyes as far as he could. He stared into Chan’s humanity, into the swirl of Chan’s galaxies, into every single sight that Chan held. He searched for signs that Chan was sweet-talking him, for any single trace of a lie in the words.

But there was nothing.

Chan’s gaze held nothing but the truth. The beautiful, powerful, raw truth.

Chan, the young boy who ruled the afterlife, thought Jeongin was significant.

“But hyung,” Jeongin said, his tongue desperately searching for the words, for something he could use to refute what Chan had said.

But his mind came up short, Jeongin also couldn’t think of a single person that wasn’t significant in some way.

If Jeongin could think that about everyone else, why couldn’t he think that about himself?

“Wow,” Jeongin said, more to himself than anyone else, “Chan-hyung, you’re really clever.”

Chan burst out laughing, his serious face withering away as he broke out into a smile so wide his teeth practically reflected the sunlight. Changbin shook his head, poking Jeongin in the shoulder.

“I know he literally has eternal wisdom,” Changbin pouted at Jeongin, “But you really shouldn’t stroke his ego like that.”

“Hey!” Chan said, narrowing his eyes playfully at Changbin, “You love all my knowledge, it gives you eternal bragging rights.”

“Yeah, there are some perks to you and your big, sexy brain,” Changbin said, winking at Jeongin when he laughed, “But I’m the only one who has to keep you grounded, so don’t let that ego get too inflated.”

“This was Jeongin’s doing, not mine,” Chan said, slinging an arm over Jeongin’s shoulder, “He can’t help being so curious.”

“I guess endless curiosity does go quite well with endless knowledge,” Changbin tilted his head in acknowledgment, pausing for a moment before his eyes lit up and he looked back at Jeongin mischievously, “Hey, you should keep asking Chan-hyung ‘why?’ like little toddlers do and see how long it takes him to get annoyed.”

Chan laughed again, Jeongin noticing his eyes sparkling in a way that must only happen around Changbin, “Jeongin, would never do that to me,” Chan said, giving Jeongin’s shoulder a squeeze, “Right?”

In response, Jeongin looked up at him hesitantly, fluttering his eyelashes cutely and letting a wide grin break out on his face when Chan looked so offended that Changbin exploded into cackles.

“Really, little one?” Chan said, shaking his head at Jeongin, “You’re really going to let me down and prove Changbin right on this one?”

“Well, I was thinking about what you said,” Jeongin said, biting his lip when Chan looked back down at him seriously, “And I guess I do want to ask ‘why?’”

“Why what?” Changbin said.

“If we’re all so significant, then why are there so many of us?” Jeongin said, gesturing down at the earth below them, “Why do we all end up in the same place? Why do we all do different things? Why do we all strive for our own versions of perfection if we’re all significant anyway?”

The words hung in the air for a few moments, Jeongin feeling his chest sinking when he realised what he’d said. He’d brought the mood down again, poisoned the atmosphere with his pointless thoughts and ramblings.

He was once more reminded that Chan and Changbin were so much more than he was. They’d seen so much more, had experienced so much more, were so much cleverer than he was in every way and shouldn’t have to put up with his incessant questions.

But, still, there was one question he had left on his tongue. One question he couldn’t leave out.

“And if we’re all so important,” Jeongin said, “Then why is that the way we were made? Why was it necessary to make us so significant?”

There were a few more seconds of silence in which Jeongin felt like he could literally feel his resolve crumbling inside him. He could only imagine that Chan and Changbin’s silences were shame, that they had no idea how to answer such ridiculous questions.

But then Chan cleared his throat, his gaze gentle and his eyes shiny as he looked back down at Jeongin.

“I’m not sure I can give you an official answer to that, little one.” he said, “I know a lot about the universe, but I don’t have a definite answer for questions like those.”

“That’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin dropped his gaze, his voice small, “Why is it that can we never have answers to the questions that feel the most important?”

“Because, at the end of the day,” Chan shuffled over so his shoulder was touching Jeongin’s, “We’re just the universe’s way of experimenting with itself.”

Jeongin felt his brows furrow together, the words playing over in his mind.

_The universe’s way of experimenting with itself._

“Hyung,” Jeongin couldn’t help but tilt his head, confusion swirling through his mind, “What do you mean by that?”

“He means that he doesn’t actually know why we were created,” Changbin answered, giving Jeongin a brief look before he turned back down to the earth, “The universe tells him a lot, but it doesn’t tell him everything.”

“That’s right,” Chan said, his own gaze still on Jeongin’s, “We could have been created on purpose. We could just be the universe’s way of messing around. Our universe might just be a tiny marble in a humungous collection. There’s no way for us to truly know what we’re doing here, so we need to work out what to do with that.”

Something seemed to awaken in Jeongin at the words. he felt himself letting out a small noise of acknowledgment. He’d never thought of it that way before, had never considered that there were some things even the person who was closest to the universe couldn’t know.

Some things were just too big for all of them to understand. Even someone like Chan.

Maybe, Jeongin wasn’t so insignificant after all.

Maybe, they were all as insignificant as each other, and that was what made them so lovable.

“So… is that why we have purposes here in the afterlife?” Jeongin carried on speaking, his voice lighter and more childlike now, “Because we don’t know what the universe has planned for us, so that’s our way of figuring it out?”

Chan just hummed, a small shrug lifting his shoulders, “I guess so,” he said, “We still all have a need to help each other, to give back to the world that created us.”

“Perhaps we can’t truly move on until we felt like we’ve done that,” Changbin said, “So, when some of us die young, we fulfil our purposes here instead. I didn’t have the time on earth to feel as accomplished as I have being a guard here.”

“But how did you know that it’s the right purpose for you?” Jeongin said, still unable to stop over-complicating everything with his relentless curiosity, “How do we know when we’ve fulfilled our purposes? How do we know they’re even the right ones in the first place?”

“Okay, but consider this,” Chan said, waving a finger in Jeongin’s face, “Maybe, we’ve already found our purposes. Maybe we’re living them right now. My purpose all along could have been to lead, but that won’t be truly fulfilled until I find someone to take over for me.”

“And your purpose could have always been to reap,” Changbin gently nudged Jeongin, “But you won’t be done until there are more souls up here, happy and content like Jisung.”

There was once more a pause as Jeongin mulled over what was said, biting at his lips when one more question popped into his mind.

“I think you’re right,” Jeongin said, “But what about soulmates?”

Chan and Changbin both groaned loudly from next to him, their exasperation turning into laughter when Jeongin just pouted at them.

He was very aware that, in that moment, he really did sound like an over-excited toddler who’d just discovered the word ‘why?’. But that didn’t mean he was going to stop asking.

“I don’t know, Jeongin,” Changbin said teasingly, “What _about_ soulmates are you asking exactly?”

“Well, if we’re all here to serve a purpose,” Jeongin said, “But we’re also not here to serve a purpose, because the universe might just be messing with us. What’s the point of giving us the idea of soulmates, of making us strive for the possibility of one person who can make us happy rather than fulfilled?”

“Who says a soulmate can’t make us fulfilled?” Chan was quick to say, his gaze challenging as he looked at Jeongin, “Because, I can tell you, I’ve felt a lot more whole since meeting Changbin. I feel like I can actually see more into the universe and help more people when I think of him. Maybe that’s just always meant to be part of our journey as souls. Maybe we all need to find our own Changbin, romantic or not.”

“And, you know Jeongin?” Changbin spoke up, “There’s no set rulebook for this place. There’s no right way to die, no set path to finding a purpose. Maybe the only thing we really need to do is find someone to love along the way. We’ll never know until the end comes.”

Jeongin smiled at the thought, feeling his chest warm at the endeared smile Changbin was giving him.

Maybe Changbin was right. Maybe that’s all there was to it. Maybe Jeongin was over-complicating things again.

Maybe he really did just need someone to love.

He had someone very specific in mind.

“Seo Changbin,” Chan’s voice cut through Jeongin’s thoughts, sounding annoyingly obnoxious as he looked at Changbin, “I never knew you could be so cheesy.”

“Oh, you know exactly how cheesy I can be, hyung,” Changbin said, his voice slimy and face disgusting as he leaned over Jeongin to blow Chan a kiss, “Don’t act like you have any complaints.”

“Ugh, gross!” Jeongin exclaimed, pushing Changbin’s face away before Chan could even think about responding to that, “I know you guys are like a god-tier couple or whatever, but there is no need to be so disgusting.”

“Awww, Jeonginnie thinks we’re cute,” Changbin switched his baby voice over to Jeongin, reaching out to pinch his cheeks.

“I think you’re annoying,” Jeongin grumbled, letting Changbin touch his face for a few seconds before he shoved him away again, “But, I guess I am a little thankful for you… maybe.”

“Oh, Jeongin, you don’t need to thank us,” Chan said, “It’s what we’re here for.”

“What kind of souls would we be if we let a curious, young boy sit here all alone?” Changbin said, giving Jeongin one last poke on the nose before he finally pulled away from his face, “We’re always happy to help you and talk to you.”

“I know, and I’m grateful,” Jeongin smiled, “You guys are the best.”

“Ah, we _try_ our best,” Changbin said, a smile on his own lips, “But we’re glad you think it’s enough.”

Jeongin nodded like a little child, “Always.”

“And, in the interest of you thinking we’re helpful,” Chan said, Jeongin turning around to face him, “I have something for you.”

Jeongin perked up, his face brightening when Chan winked at him, “What is it, hyung?”

“Don’t freak out on me too much,” Chan held a hand out to Jeongin, using his other one to pull something out from behind his back, “But I think you’re ready to have this back.”

Jeongin didn’t know what he was expecting Chan to hand to him, but his file was definitely _not_ it.

“Hyung!” Jeongin was quick to wave both hands in front of himself, gesturing at Chan to stop holding the file out towards him, “You can’t give me that! It’s dangerous!”

“It’s only dangerous if you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Chan said, his voice so certain that Jeongin couldn’t help but hang onto his every word, “And you, Jeongin, are smart and capable enough that I trust you with this. Minho and Seungmin are both aware, so they know to keep an eye on you, just in case.”

“But hyung,” Jeongin tentatively reached out to brush his fingers over the file, waiting a moment before he slipped it out Chan’s grasp, “Why?”

“There’s that beautiful question again,” Changbin said from behind them, giggling to himself when both Chan and Jeongin shot him a quick glare.

“Because I know you’re curious about the world,” Chan said, looking back at Jeongin, “Because you have some beautiful memories in there. I think seeing who you once were, applying it to the soul you are now and answering some of those questions you still have rattling in that head of yours could really help you.”

“Wow,” Jeongin said, still in awe as he looked down at what was literally his life in his hands. “Thanks, hyung.”

“I already said don’t thank me,” Chan bumped his shoulder with Jeongin’s, “Just remember to always be careful, yeah? I don’t gift like this lightly.”

“I promise, hyung,” Jeongin looked up to smile at Chan, a phantom feeling of happiness swirling through him when Chan reached out to ruffle his hair.

“I believe you, little one,” he said, looking at Changbin before he gestured him to stand up, “Now, Binnie and I better get going. There’s always important matters for us to attend to, after all.”

“Alright, hyungs,” Jeongin said, reaching out and squeezing both their hands as they stood up, “I’ll see you later?”

“You sure will,” Changbin said, walking over to Chan and taking his hand, “Don’t stay here alone too long, okay?”

“Oh, he won’t,” Chan said, a knowing glint in his eye that Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows at, “Someone’s coming to see him very soon.”

A spark of confusion lit in Jeongin’s chest, his head tilting to the side and mouth opening to ask what Chan meant.

But Chan was landing a kiss on Changbin’s cheek and teleporting them both away before Jeongin could even think up the words, leaving him confused and alone with his legs dangling over a cloud.

He turned back to the earth with a pout on his face, fiddling with the file in his hands as he wondered who was coming to see him. Chan had looked almost excited, so it couldn’t be anyone bad, but Jeongin didn’t know if he had enough energy left to meet someone new.

However, part of Jeongin knew that surely Chan would know that. Chan wouldn’t send anyone Jeongin’s way unless he knew Jeongin was prepared to meet them, so who the hell could Chan mean?

Jeongin was so tangled in the thoughts that he almost missed the feeling of the cloud he was sat on dipping slightly behind him. He whipped round, looking up to see someone hesitantly walking towards him, their heeled shoes almost poking holes in the clouds.

Jeongin looked up to meet their face, smiling widely when they blushed at him.

“Hey, Hyunjin-hyung,” Jeongin said softly, patting the spot next to him with a smile, “Have you come to talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading. ik that chapter was pretty deep, but when i started this i knew i wanted jeongin and chan to come full-circle and have a conversation as equals. curious jeongin is also too adorable to resist
> 
> the quote 'we are just the universe's way of experimenting with itself' was a HUGE inspiration for this whole story. it was something a really good friend said to me whilst we were stargazing together. i literally couldn't get the the phrase out my mind and now we have this story. ik that probably doesn't mean a lot, but i thought it would be special to share where this story really came from 
> 
> one more chapter to go, it's cute i promise!!
> 
> until then, take care <3


	9. All the Time in the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yang Jeongin,” Hyunjin said, wrapping his arms all the way around Jeongin’s waist, “Let me be your angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya, welcome to the final chapter of this story xx
> 
> *im just going to address the current w**jin situation very quickly. i know he's not in this story, but he is in some of my others so i would like to state that i no longer support him in any way and i am currently in the process of editing/re-writing my works to remove him and deleting the ones i can't save. please understand that this will take me some time but i'm doing it as fast as i can. im so sorry to everyone that has been affected by this, please stay safe <3*
> 
> im also sorry this chapter took so long!! in between my shifts and the current situation i struggled to find the time to edit this. but it's ready now and i hope you enjoy <3 xx

_“You look really cute today, babe,” Jeongin said, his mouth pulling into a gentle smile that stretched out into a giggle when he got a tender one back._

_“Thank you,” his boyfriend said, his cheeks pink with the cold and his mittened hands clasped in front of his chest, Jeongin convinced he looked like the most adorable person in the world in that moment, “You look cute too.”_

_Jeongin felt warmth spread through him at the words, enough warmth that it was almost enough to battle off the incessant cold that was curling against his skin._

_It was the middle of winter. Jeongin and his newly-declared boyfriend were taking a walk through the park together, both their hands covered by adorably-knitted gloves and fluffy bobble hats resting on their heads._

_They were both well aware that their new relationship glow and their soft clothes must have made them look adorable together._

_They were still, very obviously, in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, all shy smiles and gentle compliments and hesitantly holding each other’s hands. Their kisses were soft and slow, seeming to last forever between them. Jeongin still wasn’t used to the feeling of lips against his, but he couldn’t say that he hated it._

_It was a very different feeling to the one he’d been suffocated by at the end of their relationship._

_They were at the phase where they hadn’t even had a whisper of an argument yet. All they could do was be nice to each other, not yet ready enough to start challenging one another or voicing when they disagreed._

_If only they’d known that, once some time had passed, they wouldn’t be able to stop bickering. The snippy comments and eye-rolls and agitated huffs would be relentless until eventually it’d erupt into a giant tornado of anger and mistakes that would end them for good._

_A tornado that Jeongin would always wish he’d at least tried to prevent._

_But Jeongin was young, he didn’t know about any of that yet. He didn’t know what his future was._

_He also didn’t know that his future on earth would be much shorter than he’d expected._

_“Come on,” Jeongin’s boyfriend held his hand out, his eyes sparkling excitedly as Jeongin blinked his thoughts away to look at him, “Let’s go feed the ducks.”_

_Jeongin grinned, forgetting the weird feeling that had suddenly come over him as he reached out to take his boyfriend’s hand. They walked together, burnt leaves crunching under their feet and breath visible in the air in front of them._

_The rest of the park twirled around them as they continued on, trees swaying in the wind and little children chasing each other around and squirrels scurrying along their branches. Jeongin couldn’t help but feel content as he observed it all, his eyes raking over the wonderful winter around them._

_There was a warm hand in his, the smell of coffee in the air, some adorable little ducks waiting to be fed._

_Jeongin was suddenly so glad to be alive._

_“Hey, babe,” Jeongin said, nudging his boyfriend in the side as they continued to walk together, “Thank you so much for agreeing to come with me today.”_

_Jeongin’s boyfriend looked over at him, surprise and endearment swirling beautifully in his gaze, “You don’t need to thank me for that,” he said, a smile playing at his lips “Of course, I came.”_

_“I know,” Jeongin said, using fond fingers to brush some hair away from his eyes, “I just know that you hate the cold and you’d much rather go for walks in summer rather than suffer outside right now. So, thank you for still agreeing to this, even if I haven’t bought you a hot chocolate yet.”_

_“Oh, babe,” his boyfriend said, squeezing Jeongin’s hand as his face practically glowed with earnest, “You don’t have to thank me. I’d go anywhere with you.”_

_If only Jeongin had known how untrue those words were._

_It wouldn’t be long before Jeongin’s boyfriend would see these winter walks as a liability, as just another thing that Jeongin would enjoy whilst his boyfriend grumbled the whole time, complaining about being cold and wanting to go home and wishing Jeongin would hurry up._

_Jeongin always tried to be patient, but he found himself feeling the same way sometimes. His boyfriend would spend forever in the library, wishing for quiet and calm whilst Jeongin would sit and get bored. He’d tap his pencil and flick through books and whine until his boyfriend had enough and snapped at him to leave._

_Jeongin secretly liked when his boyfriend told him to leave. It gave them a break from the endless bickering that always seemed to start up between the two of them._

_But the whole time, Jeongin still thought that he was in love._

_Him and his boyfriend still got on well most of the time. They were still friendly with one another They still liked to steal kisses and meet up whenever they could, but it was never quite the same. The relationship very quickly sailed from the honeymoon phase to both of them being too-easily tired of each other._

_At first, Jeongin did whatever he could to salvage the relationship, convinced that they’d always be together, but it never seemed to work._

_He never even once considered that maybe they just weren’t meant to be._

_Jeongin had no idea about soulmates. He thought him and his boyfriend didn’t have long enough lives that they’d be able to find out whether soulmates existed or not. Jeongin had never known that there was life after death._

_So, Jeongin had stayed with the boy he loved, but the one he didn’t quite love enough._

_They still shared their winter walks. They still studied together in the library. They still spent night after night in Jeongin’s bedroom._

_They were together until Jeongin’s boyfriend finally had enough._

_He left with a storm, messing up Jeongin’s bedroom with his tears and his rage whilst he secretly begged for Jeongin to tell him to stay, for Jeongin to remember just how much they loved each other._

_But Jeongin had done nothing. Jeongin had just watched his boyfriend whisk his way out the door._

_It had taken them too long to realise that the frost from their winter walks had somehow made its way into their hearts._

_They had stayed together out of obligation, not out of need, and that was also destined to tear them apart._

_Jeongin had always wished that they’d ended things differently, but his young heart stopped beating not much longer after he fell out of love._

~

The blue light pulled Jeongin out of his memories with a firm snap.

He gasped, his hand sharply tugging away from his file and his eyes blinking as he tried to get his vision back.

His fingertips were tingling from where he’d had them pressed against the paper for so long, his legs shaking and his hands trying to reach for the desk next to him so he could lean against it.

Jeongin almost wished he could take a deep breath. He didn’t think he’d ever spent that long inside just one memory.

Just one long, drawn-out, painful memory of a relationship that had slowly descended into ash.

Briefly, Jeongin registered the other hand that had been on the file also pulling away, this one a lot gentler with the fingers a lot slenderer than Jeongin’s. The hands moved so they rested carefully over Jeongin’s fingers, forcing his grip on the desk to loosen and tenderly massaging his knuckles.

“Baby,” Hyunjin said quietly, shuffling so that he was behind Jeongin and could whisper in his ear, both of them staring down at the file on the desk, “Are you okay?”

Jeongin took a few seconds to answer, his throat working to swallow and his mind trying to find the words before he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jeongin said, dropping his gaze as Hyunjin’s nose started to nuzzle against the side of his head, “Sorry, you had to see that.”

“Don’t apologise,” Hyunjin said, his voice tender and understanding, “I appreciate you showing it to me.”

Jeongin could only nod again, still feeling uncertain and guilty as he gradually tried to calm himself down in Hyunjin’s arms.

The two of them were back in Jeongin’s office, the maps surrounding them and the lights twinkling against their skin and no one to find them as they talked.

At first when Hyunjin had showed up, they’d stayed sat on the clouds. They’d watched the earth together and talked about all the wonderful memories they had there. Jeongin had listened in awe as Hyunjin had described his love for dance, his hesitance to join the school choir, his little dog that he’d loved more than anything.

Jeongin had done the same back, telling Hyunjin about the art school he’d attended and all the talent shows he’d entered and the way he’d play in the snow with his brothers during winter.

Hyunjin had listened with wild, childlike eyes, his hair perfectly framing his face and his lips always pulled up in a giggle. Jeongin had been so infatuated with him that he’d almost stopped talking completely.

But then Hyunjin had noticed the file Jeongin was holding, a small gasp leaving his lips when he’d noticed Jeongin’s name printed over the front. He’d instantly asked if he could see Jeongin’s memories, if they could fall into the file and witness Jeongin’s life together.

Jeongin had hesitantly agreed, but not without coming back to the office. He’d wanted to feel less exposed when he showed Hyunjin his life on earth. Part of him also felt like he wanted Hyunjin to have less escape routes in case he accidentally scared him off.

However, Hyunjin had been nothing but understanding, even asking to see Jeongin’s old boyfriend so he could see what kind of romantic life Jeongin had lived before he’d even existed in the same realm as Hyunjin.

That had made Jeongin even more nervous, but Hyunjin was still relentlessly empathetic.

“Hyung,” Jeongin eventually managed to say once he’d gotten his thoughts in order, swallowing back the tightness in his throat, “Why… why did you want to see this?”

Hyunjin paused, seeming to think about the words before he wrapped his arms around Jeongin’s waist and hooked his chin over Jeongin’s shoulder, pressing himself against him from behind, “I just… I wanted to make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes any of your ex-boyfriends did.”

Hyunjin’s voice was timid, almost like he was afraid he was saying too much, but the words were firm as they hit the air. Jeongin’s eyes widened as he listened to them.

Hyunjin didn’t want to be like Jeongin’s ex-boyfriends?

Hyunjin didn’t want to _hurt_ Jeongin?

Jeongin could almost feel something start to come alive in his chest, his whole body relaxing against Hyunjin’s as he smiled.

“Hyung,” he said, “You’re so adorable.”

A loud whine echoed through the room as Hyunjin pushed his face into Jeongin’s neck, trying to hide the bright red sprouting on his cheeks.

“Stop,” Hyunjin moaned like a kitten wanting attention, “I promise you that I mean it. It’s not adorable, I just don’t want to make mistakes.”

“I know you mean it,” Jeongin said, craning his neck to look at Hyunjin, “And so do I. You _are_ adorable.”

Hyunjin whined again, even louder this time, and Jeongin couldn’t help but erupt into laughs. Hyunjin joined in, his chest vibrating against Jeongin’s back in a way that suddenly felt very intimate.

Thoughts began to tangle in Jeongin’s mind, his body only just seeming to register just how close Hyunjin was, his mind suddenly processing just how serious Hyunjin had seemed when he’d said he didn’t want to make mistakes with Jeongin.

“Hey, hyung,” Jeongin said, Hyunjin’s gaze flickering back up to his as they spoke over Jeongin’s shoulder, “When you said you don’t want to make mistakes like my boyfriend did, does that mean that you see me like a… like a boyfriend?”

Hyunjin seemed to startle at the question, surprise flitting over his features before he schooled it away. His gaze flickered down to Jeongin’s shoulder before he looked up again, biting at his lips.

“I know we haven’t known each other for long,” Hyunjin said, his voice hesitant, “But the moment I saw you for the first time, I felt like I knew you already. I want to be close to you, Jeongin, really close. But only if you’ll let me.”

“Of course, I’ll let you,” Jeongin said without even a moment of hesitation, but that was before his nerves kicked in and his eyes dropped worriedly back down to his file, “But there’s something else you should know.”

Hyunjin’s grip tightened around Jeongin’s waist, his neck trying to twist so he could meet Jeongin’s eyes again.

“What is it?” Hyunjin said.

“You said you didn’t want to make the mistakes my boyfriend did,” Jeongin said, waiting for Hyunjin to nod before he carried on, “But you didn’t seem to consider that maybe I made mistakes too.”

At the words, Jeongin flicked through a few pages of his file, landing on the page of his break-up. It was the time Jeongin had let his boyfriend walk out the door without even a single protest. The time Jeongin had let his boyfriend believe that maybe he’d never loved him in the first place, never even speaking a word to him after the door was slammed in his face. The first memory Jeongin had seen since becoming a reaper.

Hyunjin seemed to catch onto what Jeongin was doing, one of his hands squeezing his arm before he lowered it carefully down to the page Jeongin was staring at.

Hyunjin’s fingers ghosted over the words, his mouth whispered in Jeongin’s ear, “Can I?” he asked.

Jeongin could only nod, feeling himself tense up when Hyunjin’s fingertips touched the memory that Jeongin had long tried to avoid. Hyunjin’s eyes completely glazed over, clouding with the blue light that pulled him down.

A sinking feeling suffocated Jeongin’s chest when he realised that all he could do was wait.

He could only wait to see if Hyunjin would hate him forever, to see if Hyunjin would realise what a coward Jeongin was and try to escape the way that Jeongin’s old boyfriend never could.

Realistically, Jeongin knew that Hyunjin was nothing but an understanding angel who would be nothing but completely empathetic to Jeongin. But Jeongin was still worried, he was still so ashamed of how he’d allowed his relationship to end.

He occupied himself with playing with Hyunjin’s free hand as he waited for him to finish. Hyunjin’s skin felt so light under his, so natural in Jeongin’s hold, so perfect in every way.

Jeongin really didn’t want to let Hyunjin go.

But that was exactly what he feared would happen when Hyunjin’s fingers suddenly fell off the page, his body tensing up and his hand leaving Jeongin’s waist.

“Hyung,” Jeongin tried to say, feeling worry flashing like lightning through him at Hyunjin’s touch no longer grounding him.

However, Jeongin soon jumped at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, spinning him round with a gasp and leaving him face-to-face with Hyunjin.

“Jeonginnie,” Hyunjin said gently, one of his hands cupping Jeongin’s face and the other slowly working its way around to play with the hair on the back of his neck, “It’s okay.”

Hyunjin said the words so softly. The ‘ _it’s okay_ ’ leaving his lips like little gems falling from the sky. Jeongin almost didn’t want to believe him, wanted to refuse to get his hopes up, but Hyunjin was looking at him with such sincerity, his voice low and soothing and unbelievably comforting.

“Is it really okay?” Jeongin whispered, wishing he could drop his gaze if not for Hyunjin’s hand keeping his head firmly in place, “You just watched me do nothing as I let my boyfriend walk out the door.”

“I saw someone who was upset make the final decision to end a relationship that was hurting him,” Hyunjin said, sounding so sure that Jeongin almost gasped, “Jeongin, if you and that boy really did want to be together then your heart would have forced you to stop him, but it was clear you didn’t love each other anymore. That’s not your fault.”

“But I let him believe that I never loved him in the first place,” Jeongin protested, “Do you understand how messed up that is?”

“You’re going to think I’m controversial for this, but that part is his fault,” Hyunjin said, tightening his grip slightly on Jeongin’s hair to stop him from interrupting, “I know you won’t agree, but he was being an absolute idiot, stomping around your room and throwing your stuff around and shouting that it was your job to stop him from leaving. If he really wanted to leave for himself, he should have come to terms with that, not blamed you for it.”

Jeongin blinked, feeling something like hope start to tingle within him as he met eyes with Hyunjin, “You really think so?”

Hyunjin smiled, moving his hand on Jeongin’s cheek to poke the end of his nose, “I know so.”

A small giggle left Jeongin’s lips at that, his own hand coming up to play with Hyunjin’s collar, “You know, at that point in my life, I had absolutely no idea that soulmates could exist.”

“Oh yeah?” Hyunjin said teasingly, leaning forward so he was practically eye-to-eye with Jeongin, “Do you think they exist now?”

Jeongin forced himself to keep his composure, practically feeling his legs shake at Hyunjin’s brilliant golden eyes staring straight into his. He let their light surround him, forced himself not to lose himself to it yet as he smiled.

“Well, that it is the afterlife’s biggest mystery,” Jeongin said, just as teasingly, “But, yes, I do think they exist.”

Something seemed to glitter in Hyunjin’s eyes at that, an extra twinkle of happiness that had Jeongin’s skin tingling with rocketships.

“Oh, really?” Hyunjin said, his voice still coy despite the obvious happiness on his face, “Do you think there’s soulmates right here, right now?”

“Of course, I do,” Jeongin said, something playful surging in his chest when Hyunjin’s face practically shone, “How can I not believe there’s soulmates here when Minho-hyung and Seungmin-hyung are such a perfect couple?”

A loud scoff left Hyunjin’s lips, both his hands shoving against Jeongin’s shoulders when he burst into cackles.

“You’re impossible,” Hyunjin grumbled, pouting at Jeongin with lips that were just too adorable, “You know what I meant.”

“I do,” Jeongin said, his laughter fading away as he met eyes with Hyunjin again, “And I agree. I think there are soulmates right here, right now.”

Jeongin spoke softly, but his voice was certain, carrying all sorts of excitement and happiness as Hyunjin gazed at him. Hyunjin’s face had started shining, his golden eyes glistening extra bright and anticipation sparkling in his stare.

“Things haven’t quite felt the same here since I met you, Jeongin,” Hyunjin said, his hands finding their way back onto Jeongin’s waist, “I thought I was content here, that finding what I needed to move on would be so hard. But you seem to make everything so easy.”

“Please don’t move on yet,” Jeongin couldn’t stop the words, his voice quiet but begging as his own hands landed on Hyunjin’s and squeezed.

“Don’t worry,” Hyunjin smiled a gentle smile, “I’m not going anywhere.”

With that, Jeongin felt the whole room come alight around him, all the lights twinkling like stars looking down on them and an extra feeling of joy curling through the air.

“Why would I even think about moving on right now?” Hyunjin carried on, a teasing edge to his voice that had Jeongin’s skin tingling, “Not when I’ve got everything I need right in front of me.”

Jeongin almost collapsed right there and then.

He felt like he had when he’d first met Hyunjin, his legs shaking and hands wanting to sweat and a million thoughts whizzing through his brain.

But they weren’t bad feelings. They were exhilarating. They were adrenalin and temptation and endless rushes of happiness.

The feelings were love.

There was a time that Jeongin didn’t think he’d ever be able to love someone again, but now he was in Hyunjin’s arms, butterflies beating against stomach, electricity sparking in his veins and lightning flushing against his skin.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” Jeongin said, staring straight into Hyunjin’s eyes, “You really are an angel.”

Hyunjin broke out into a grin, pleasant surprise exploding into gold in his eyes. He seemed pleased with the words. There was a faint pink on his cheeks, but still confidence in the way his grip tightened around Jeongin’s waist.

“Yang Jeongin,” Hyunjin said, wrapping his arms all the way around Jeongin’s waist, “Let me be your angel.”

With that, Hyunjin lifted Jeongin, squeezing him tight and placing him to sit on the desk behind them. Jeongin squeaked in surprise, but complied, letting Hyunjin put him down and move to settle in between his legs.

Jeongin lifted a teasing hand to squeeze one of Hyunjin’s biceps, “Wow Mr Angel,” he said, his eyebrows raised, “Didn’t realise you had the muscles for that.”

Hyunjin just snorted, rolling his eyes when Jeongin winked at him, “Way to ruin a sexy moment, dumbass.”

“Well, excuse me for admiring your muscles,” Jeongin said, putting on his best dramatic tone that made Hyunjin let out a loud groan.

“Well, Mr Reaper,” Hyunjin said when Jeongin just blinked innocently at him, “Then you’ll have to excuse me for staring at your lips.”

Jeongin could have sworn his heart fluttered in his chest.

He jolted in surprise, caught off guard by the bluntness and the confidence of the words. Hyunjin was staring at him like he was a precious diamond ready to be stolen, gaze made of earnest and desperation, lust shining deliciously in his eyes.

“You don’t have to be excused for staring at my lips,” Jeongin practically whispered, suddenly feeling flustered at the way Hyunjin was looking at him.

It had been a long time since Jeongin had experienced phantom emotions like this, but he welcomed them.

He liked the way Hyunjin made him feel.

So, Jeongin didn’t hesitate. He shuffled forward on the desk, pulling Hyunjin against him so they were practically nose-to-nose. Jeongin’s hand tangled in the back of Hyunjin’s hair, his fingers practically lost in the long strands and Hyunjin looking like he had gone to heaven all over again.

That was when Jeongin slowly started pulling Hyunjin’s head forward, giving him every chance to pull away before their lips touched.

It was just a single touch at first. Just a gentle brush of lips.

But then Hyunjin was leaning all the way in, chasing Jeongin’s face with his own and crashing their mouths together.

Jeongin kissed back fervently, not taking long to find a rhythm with Hyunjin as their lips moved in sync against one another.

They fit together so well.

They fit together like soulmates.

The thought made Jeongin grip Hyunjin’s hair tighter, his other arm coming to wrap around Hyunjin’s waist. He pulled Hyunjin flush against him, enjoying being able to hold him in his arms.

Hyunjin’s own hands had come up to cup Jeongin’s face, his thumbs brushing over his cheeks and under his eyes as they continued to kiss. Jeongin swore he could feel fireworks going off around them, the night sky watching over them and the entire world at peace as they found each other.

Their lips continued to slot together, Jeongin almost losing his mind when Hyunjin continued to press himself against him. Their shoulders were touching, their hands on each other’s skin, their mouths keeping each other safe as they kissed.

There was a thought whispering in the back of Jeongin’s mind that if he hadn’t known whether Hyunjin was his soulmate before, then he certainly knew now.

Only the kiss of a soulmate could make Jeongin feel like he’d truly come alive again.

The two of them didn’t even need to come up for air. Jeongin revelled at the thought that they could kiss as long as they wanted.

They could kiss forever.

They could be together _forever._

Jeongin pulled away with a smile, his chest blooming with something warm when he realised that he and Hyunjin really did have all the time in the world. For now, he just wanted to admire Hyunjin’s face, his thumb shakily pushing some of Hyunjin’s hair behind his ear as they stared at each other.

Hyunjin’s lips were bright red and swollen, his face flushed in a way that looked surprisingly human. Even if Hyunjin was no longer alive, Jeongin was glad his face still held that after-kiss glow that made humans so beautiful.

And the look in Hyunjin’s eyes… it was nothing short of perfect.

Hyunjin was looking at Jeongin like Chan looked at Changbin, like Minho looked at Seungmin, like Jisung looked at Felix.

Like a soulmate looked at their significant other.

And just like all those other beautiful couples, Jeongin and Hyunjin were going to be okay. They were going to be forever.

So, Jeongin pulled Hyunjin into another kiss, savouring the glitters of gold exploding in his face and the euphoria tingling under his skin.

“I love you,” Hyunjin muttered into the kiss, his voice muffled but still loud enough that Jeongin understood how much me meant it.

“I love you too,” Jeongin said, meaning it just as much as Hyunjin did.

Jeongin pulled Hyunjin tighter in his arms, almost jolting when he finally, _finally_ realised what the feeling in his chest was.

Hyunjin made Jeongin feel like his heart was beating again.

Hyunjin gave Jeongin his purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin lifting jeongin onto a desk and kissing him?? that is self-indulgence at its finest
> 
> thank you SO much for reading!! it's honestly so crazy to me that this story is over, i think i actually did fall in love with it at some point. i had SO MUCH FUN exploring this concept and im glad other people seemed to enjoy it too. thank you for sticking with me on this, i really appreciate it <3
> 
> please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you ever want to talk. i know the world is a very scary place rn but we have an amazing skz comeback coming up and i hope we're all excited, i know i am ;)
> 
> thank you again for reading, have a beautiful day <3

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @hotelfelixxie


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